My Teacher's In Detention

Kids' Favorite Funny School Poems


By Bruce Lansky

Illustrated by Stephen Carpenter

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This item is a preorder. Your payment method will be charged immediately, and the product is expected to ship on or around July 31, 2012. This date is subject to change due to shipping delays beyond our control.

This book delivers 45 hilarious poems about school that cover everything from homework and tests to detention and school lunches. Well-known poets Bruce Lansky, Kenn Nesbitt, and Robert Pottle — plus many more great Giggle Poets — wrote these gems.

My Teacher’s In Detention contains 50 hilarious poems about school that cover everything from homework and tests to detention and gross-out school lunches. The book contains poems by well-known poets, including Bruce Lansky, Kenn Nesbitt, Robert Pottle, and more great “giggle poets.” Editor and contributor Bruce Lansky is one of North America’s three bestselling authors of children’s poetry books. His kid-tested, giggle-filled children’s poetry books have sold over 3.5 million copies. This book follows on the success of Lansky’s other school poetry anthologies, No More Homework! No More Tests!, and If Kids Ruled the School, which have sold over 500,000 copies in all editions and are among the best selling children’s poetry books at retail.


Rules for the Bus

Said our driver in September

as we climbed aboard the bus,

“There are rules you must remember.

Number one, you do not cuss.

Do not squirm and do not wiggle.

Do not squeak and do not squawk.

Do not laugh and do not giggle.

Better yet, don’t even talk.

Do not ever let me catch you

with your feet out in the aisle.

Sit as rigid as a statue

with a stiff and silent smile.

And you will not wear your mittens,

and you will not wear a mask.

And you will not bring your kittens,

and you shouldn’t even ask.

And you will not play with bubbles

or a yo-yo or balloon.

And for causing me such troubles,

you will get them back in June.

Now the day is here. Begin it

with the words I have to say.

Kindly take a seat this minute,

and let’s have a pleasant day.”

Well, I listened very closely

to the messages I heard,

and in all this time I’ve mostly

followed each and every word.

I have tried to pay attention,

but of this, I must confess:

There’s a rule he didn’t mention,

and today it caused a mess.

It is not as if I planned it

with an evil attitude.

I am not that underhanded,

and I don’t mean to be crude.

But it causes quite a fuss,

and it might even be unlawful

to have climbed aboard the bus

when you have stepped in

something awful.

Eric Ode

Nobody Knows Where Our Bus Driver Goes

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes

while all of us kids are at school.

Does he study the map?

Does he take a nice nap

or lazily lounge by the pool?

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes

nor what he may do with his time.

Does he work at the fair?

Is he off cutting hair

or secretly out fighting crime?

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes.

He’s prob’ly a space man from Mars,

but he might be a spy

or a rock ’n’ roll guy

who’s wailing on ’lectric guitars.

Nobody knows

where our bus driver goes.

He leaves us each morning at eight.

All that we see

is our bus back at three.

And, boy, we’re sure glad he’s not late!

Jeff Mondak

Peewee Soccer

Christopher is counting clouds.

Hannah braids her hair.

Peter’s playing peekaboo.

Greg growls like a bear.

Kevin kicks with all his might,

and though the ball stays put,

his sneaker sails across the field

to land near Roger’s foot.

Roger starts to kick the shoe.

Soon poor Kevin’s crying.

Katie gives the ball a kick

and sends that ball a-flying.

Billy Brown is looking down.

He sees a four-leaf clover.

Billy wants to pick the plant,

and that’s why he bends over.

We see the ball bounce off his bum

and then sail toward the goal.

The goalie gets confused.

We watch him stop then drop and roll.

The other team lets out a cheer

and our team starts to scream

as Billy’s bottom scores a goal

for the other team.

Robert Pottle

The Kindergarten Concert

The kindergarten concert was an interesting show.

Peter walked onto the stage and yelled, “I have to go!”

Katie was embarrassed, but she had nowhere to hide.

She raised her dress to hide her face. Her mother almost died.

Keith removed his tie and said, “It’s ugly, Dad. I hate it!”

David picked his nose on stage. What’s worse is that he ate it.

They sang their song, and Wyatt burped, and then he did a dance.

Michael fell while spinning ’round. Peter wet his pants.

The music teacher at the end said, “There, I’m glad that’s done.”

The kindergarten bowed and said, “Let’s sing another one!”

Robert Pottle


On Sale
Jul 31, 2012
Page Count
80 pages
Running Press

Bruce Lansky

About the Author

Bruce Lansky is the #1 author of baby-name books in North America, selling over 11.5 million copies of baby name books. His other name books include: The Best Baby Name Book in the Whole Wide World, The Very Best Baby Name Book, 60,000+ Baby Names, 25,000+ Baby Names, and 15,000+ Baby Names.

Learn more about this author