If Kids Ruled the School

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Bruce Lansky

Some Bedtime Advice

Bob Woodroffe

Sleep Tricks

Ted Scheu

The Bus

Robert Pottle

The Back of the Bus

Lynne Hockley

The Toughest Boys in School

Bob Woodroffe

Mrs. DeBuss

Kenn Nesbitt

Class Pest

Kathy Kenney-Marshall

I Wonder If She’d Like Me

Eric Ode

Katie Kissed Me

Christine Lynn Mahoney

Bad-Hair Day

Linda Knaus

Missing Something?

Mary Jane Mitchell

I Ripped My Pants at School Today

Robert Pottle

Why Dju I Dju zha Shings I Dju?

Eric Ode

Cursive Curse

Ted Scheu

Work with Me

Mary Jane Mitchell

Fs Are “Fabulous”

Ted Scheu

Testing, Testing, Testing!

Ted Scheu

School Rules

Bruce Lansky

My First Poem

Bill Dodds

The Aliens Have Landed!

Kenn Nesbitt

Get Out of Bed!

Diane Z. Shore

Falling Asleep in Class

Kenn Nesbitt

How to Torture Your Students

Jane Pomazal and Bruce Lansky

My Excuse

Kenn Nesbitt

I Will Not Tease Rebecca Grimes

Dave Crawley

I Call First!

Ted Scheu

My Teacher Pays Me to Be Good

Pat Dodds

Lucky Trade

Matthew L. Fredericks

My Pencil

Christopher Cook

Gym Class

Neal Levin

The Monkey House

Bob Woodroffe

The Day the Dinosaurs Come Back

Timothy Tocher

My Doggy Ate My Homework

Dave Crawley

The Best Show-and-Tell

Wendi Silvano

I’ll Teach My Dog to Read

Eric Ode

Ollie’s Escape

Dave Crawley

To Our Missing Classmate—Get Well Soon

Susan Reade Smith

I Gave My Teacher a Present

Maria Smith

Dot-to-Dot

Kathy Kenney-Marshall

A Sick-Day Trick

A. Maria Plover

Cafeteri-Yuck!

Dave Crawley

Tray Trouble

Dave Crawley

But First…

Kathy Kenney-Marshall

I Pledge Allegiance

Timothy Tocher

The Third-Grade Christmas Play

Linda Knaus

Credits

About Bruce Lansky

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Some Bedtime Advice

If tonight when you’re in bed

You find it hard to sleep,

Then you should think of happy things

And then start counting sheep.

Then very soon your happy thoughts

Will gently calm your mind,

So when you fin’ly fall asleep

The sweetest dreams you’ll find.

But never—ever—think of school.

Oh no! For if you do,

You may start counting teachers

And have nightmares all night through.

Bob Woodroffe

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Sleep Tricks

I zoomed around at school today

and now, it’s time for bed.

My body tells me “nighty-night,”

but what about my head?

My brain won’t let me go to sleep,

it’s screaming, “Stay awake!”

My mind is racing down a hill,

and guess what? There’s no brake.

I’m trying every trick I know

to end this wild ride.

I’ve looked around for sheep to count,

but they all run and hide.

I think I’ve found the answer to

my problem for tonight.

I’ll get to dreamland faster if

I just turn off my light.

It’s working! Now I’m yawning and

the fog is getting deep.

Now if I take my headphones off,

I might just fall asleep.

Ted Scheu

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The Bus

Sixty kids and one adult,

you gotta love those odds.

The perfect place for pulling pranks

and throwing paper wads.

Hank is standing on his head.

Billy’s playing ball.

Peter wet his pants again.

Tasha pushes Paul.

Steven steals. Kevin cries.

Millicent is missing.

Katie punched her cousin Keith.

Ben and Jen are kissing.

Me, I’m taking lots of notes