Bigfoot Backpacking Bonanza

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CHAPTER 1

This Spud's for You

We interrupt this broadcast for an emergency news flash. Criminal mastermind Hans Lotion and his grandson, Jurgen, have escaped from their maximum security facility. Hans is a master of explosives and funny accents and is extremely dangerous. If you spot these two, contact the police, alert the media, or just wave your hands in the air and scream like a stuck pig!

We now return to

Terminator 7:

Cyborgs In Love…

No, wait! That's not a killer cyborg.

That's Mr. Gorden Maximus, owner of the biggest shoe store in town and Scoutleader of the Spudscouts of America.

"Only a few lucky elite can become a Spudscout!" barked Spudmaster Maximus. "It takes nerves of steel, a perfect physique, like mine, and a real smart brain."

"Now, what makes you two puny maggots think you've got what it takes to be Spudscouts?"

Those two puny maggots he was referring to were me, Wiley, and my best friend, Jubal. This was our fifth time trying out for Spudscouts, and it promised to be as humiliating as ever.

We were put through a serious of rigorous tests. First, we were forced to do pull-ups over a batch of dangerous insects.

Then came the exhausting swimming competition,

followed by a dangerous crawl through barbed-wire and muck, under scorching flames…

and topped off with an unbearable jalapeño-eating contest.

CHAPTER 2

The Long Walk of Shame

"I'm glad—I mean, sad—to say that for the fifth time, you two have failed to meet our standards," said Maximus. "But don't let this get you down. You can now proudly return to your daffodil garden on Wimp Island."

The creepy Spudscouts chuckled as we walked away.

"That does it," said Jubal. "Remind me not to invite these guys to my next birthday party."

Grampa tried to cheer us up later that night. "Hey boys!" said Grampa. "You're just in time for N.Y.P.D.—Sasquatch Division."

"No thanks," I said. "The thrill of watching a Sasquatch breaking bones is gone."

Gramma tried to cheer us up, too. "Boys, I made you a triple-decker chocolate brownie super sundae with a real working fountain of hot fudge."

"Sorry, Gramma," I said. "Not even a river of hot fudge could overcome the humiliation we're feeling right now."

"Uh, I'd be willing to give it a try," said Jubal.