Grampa's Zombie BBQ

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A Preview of Wiley & Grampa #3: Monster Fish Frenzy

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CHAPTER 1

Let's Do Lunch

Ladies and gentlemen, friends, neighbors, and out-of-town guests… since the dawn of time, zombies have captivated the imaginations of sick individuals all over the globe. From the voodoo rituals of Zambowi Island to the classic zombie movies like Night of the Brain Munchers and Benji Conquers the Zombies.

But there is one more zombie tale to be told. A tale so horrifying that your spine will tingle, your toes will curl up in their socks, and your nose hairs will wiggle uncontrollably. This is the story of Grampa's Zombie BBQ!

We begin our story with a scene from the classic zombie film Fried Spleen & Tomatoes.

No, wait! That's just Vera, the Gingham County Elementary School lunch lady, dishing up some of her world-famous* Bulgarian sausage and sourcrowt goulash. (*World famous for causing uncontrollable upchucking, that is.)

That's me, Wiley, about to dig into some seriously stinky cuisine. And that guy next to me is Jubal, my best friend in all of Gingham County—besides Grampa, of course.

"This cafeteria should be declared a federal disaster area," I said, staring at my plate of pulsating slop.

"And Vera should be brought to justice for crimes against humanity," added Jubal.

Some folks say she performs voodoo rituals on her three bean and cabbage chili!

Others say she uses genuine skunk meat in her spicy Indonesian wontons!

And noted physicians say that her kidney bean and oatmeal pasta with BBQ sauce is not carb friendly!

CHAPTER 2

The Big Announcement

"BARBECUE SAUCE!" I shouted. "That reminds me!" Then I stood up and made a very important and dramatic announcement: "Children of Gingham Elementary, I beseech you! Drop those sporks and put down those chocolate milks!

"You're all invited to my grampa's annual barbecue tomorrow at 2:22 PM!

"There'll be games, sporting events, cold beverages and, of course, my gramma's prizewinning honey paprika barbecue sauce! That's right—real edible food! Not this tub of guts they call goulash! Oh… and please, everyone, bring a covered dish, preferably mayonnaise free."

The cafeteria erupted in cheers. This was going to be the best barbecue ever!

CHAPTER 3

Kid Science

Later that evening at Grampa's house, Channel 5's smarmy weatherman, Blue Norther, went on about some solar eclipse.

"Hi, folks! Blue Norther here. We've just gotten word from the Gingham County Observatory that tomorrow at 4:44 PM, there will be a total solar eclipse! It will be an amazing sight only seen once every few years! Just make sure, whatever you do, that you don't look at it! Staring at an eclipse could cause blindness, glaucoma, cataracts, or your eyeballs could burst into flames!"

Normally, Jubal and I would rush to the TV at the mere mention of eyeballs bursting into flames, but we were too busy with our science homework. We carefully mixed various ingredients and compounds under the strict adult supervision of Grampa….

Actually, Grampa was napping.

"And now, I shall add the final ingredient to my secret compound," I announced.