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Super Soccer Freak Show
By Kirk Scroggs
Formats and Prices
Format:ebook (Digital original) $3.99 $4.99 CAD
This item is a preorder. Your payment method will be charged immediately, and the product is expected to ship on or around December 21, 2008. This date is subject to change due to shipping delays beyond our control.
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Welcome to the extremely abnormal, weird and wacky, utterly absurd world of WILEY & GRAMPA’S CREATURE FEATURES, a hoot-out-loud early reader series.
In the fourth book in the series, hapless, goofy Grampa and his grandson Wiley are in for another zany adventure: The Gingham County Cracklins–the Texas’ 100th ranked soccer team (on a scale of 1-50)–face the Carpathian Coyotes, the number one elementary soccer team in the nation, infamous for their monstrous abilities During the highlight of the game, Grampa’s bitten by their mascot in a full-fledged brawl. Suddenly, Grampa’s growing fangs and howling at the full moon–he’s transformed into a were-yote (half man, half coyote)–and escapes into the night! Can Merle’s keen sense of smell help Wiley track down the elusive half beast/half old guy? Will Grampa get his revenge on the mangy mascot? Only Dr. Hans Lotion knows how to reverse Grampa’s curse–but will he do it?
Table of Contents
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In memory of Dan Hooker, super agent and believer in Grampa
Special thanks to:
Ashley & Carolyn Grayson, Suppasak Viboonlarp, Mark Mayes, Jim Jeong, Joe Kocian, Hiland Hall, Steve Deline, Jackie Greed, the mezz crew-Woo Woo!
Andrea, Sangeeta, Saho, Alison, Elizabeth, Tina and the Little, Brown crew-hooray!
And a super deep-dish thanks with extra cheese to Diane and Corey Scroggs and Harold and Betty Aulds.
Pick a Card, Any Card
Ladies and Gentlemen, members of the press, and dog lovers everywhere… BEWARE! I, Madame Wiley, have consulted the tarot cards, gazed into my crystal ball, read the star charts, and checked the Internet, and they all say the same thing.… He who cracks open this book shall be doomed forever!
If you foolishly decide to proceed, I suggest you pack your silver bullets and, of course, a fresh pair of drawers. The creatures of the night await you…
We begin our story with the gruesome transformation of a man into a werewolf! Please take note of the bulging eyes, the uncontrollable drool, and the slimy, sweaty skin.
No, wait! That's just Coach Haunch, the surly, burly coach of the Gingham County Cracklins, the state's 100th-ranked soccer team–out of 50.
"You kids quit being rowdy on the bus!" screamed Coach Haunch. "I've only had one cup of coffee today and you hooligans are working my last nerve!"
That's me, Wiley, and my best friend, Jubal, winners of the Least Valuable Player Awards for three years straight. If we look nervous, there's a good reason–our bus was on its way to Carpathian County, where we would face the most dreaded team in all of Texas–the Carpathian Coyotes!
Carpathian County was Texas's least popular vacation destination–a dreary mud puddle of a place known for its high crime rate, terrible weather, and old women with facial hair.
The Carpathian Coyotes were the state's top soccer team, and the players were famous for their monstrous abilities.
"Some folks say the Coyotes devoured the last team that challenged them," said Chucky Frewer, our team's star kicker.
"Others say they use a stuffed human head for a soccer ball!" said Bjorn Dasher, the team goalie.
"I hear their players aren't even human. They're made from the parts of other kids, sewn together by a mad scientist!" said Scrawny Mitchell, team marketing consultant.
"Now! Now!" said Coach Haunch. "We all know those frightening and outlandish stories are absolutely 100 percent TRUE, but that won't stop us from having a good time!"
- On Sale
- Dec 21, 2008
- Page Count
- 112 pages
- Little, Brown Books for Young Readers