Books About Finding Love in the Modern World
The modern dating world is such a confusing landscape to navigate. The multiple dating apps. Building a dating profile. Texting and meeting a variety of new people. Getting ghosted. There are so many variables and with this many apps you’d think it’d be easier to find what you’re looking for. The books in this list show the ups and downs of dating and offer advice on how to find what you’re looking for. Combined with wit, humor, research, and even some success stories, you’ll feel more confident and empowered entering the dating world.
From a popular dating coach and podcast host, a guide to dismantling the myths that get in the way of finding love
Does dating feel like you’re chasing a “happily ever after” that always seems out of reach? You’re not alone: many modern daters are stuck following old rules, hung up on ideas like instant chemistry and “the One.” In F the Fairy Tale, love expert Damona Hoffman helps readers break free of those dating myths—and write their own love stories. Drawing on nearly twenty years of experience as a dating coach, Hoffman reveals the four pillars of strong relationships: goals, values, communication, and trust. And she doesn’t just tell readers what to do or not to do—she explains why, exploring the psychological and societal factors behind our behavior to help us break free of old habits for good. F the Fairy Tale gives you the tools to create the happy ending to your love story that’s just right for you.
Dating these days is hard, and no one understands that more than licensed therapist Jeff Guenther. Whether you’re looking for marriage or just a fling, exploring your sexuality or discovering your attachment style, or just trying to figure out which app is most worth your time, Jeff meets you exactly where you are; it’s no surprise that millions of viewers have found comfort in his posts. With humor, empathy, and an acknowledgment of the obstacles to finding healthy relationships, he has become the dating whisperer for the social media age.
Dating in the super-online, post-covid world is not for the weak, and people are confused and looking for guidance. In the vein of Unf*ck Yourself, The Love Prescription and How to Not Die Alone, Big Dating Energy is a funny, modern self-help title that tackles the opaque world of dating, empowering the reader with straight talk and an emphasis on authenticity.
Covering everything from first dates to red flags, ideal partner checklists to knowing when and how to end things, and even an exploration of the people and things you can blame for why your dating life hasn’t worked out so far, Big Dating Energy harnesses the charm and easy-to-use advice that nearly 4 million followers come to the @therapyjeff platform for daily. It will set you up to not only succeed at dating, but maybe even enjoy it along the way.
Disabled people date, have casual sex, marry, and parent. Yet our romantic lives are conspicuously absent from the media and cultural conversation. Sexual education does not typically address the specific information needed by disabled students. Mainstream dating apps fail to include disability as an aspect of one’s identity alongside race, ethnicity, gender identity, and sexual orientation. The few underutilized disability-focused apps are paternalistic and unappealing. Bestselling dating books do not address disability, and the few relationship books marketed to disabled people focus on the mechanics of sex rather than the complex interactions that create the conditions for it.
In Dateable, disabled authors Jessica Slice Caroline Cupp team up to address the serious gap in the dating space. Dateable is the first book on disabled dating and relationships; it’s a dating guide made especially for disabled and chronically ill people, that also calls in nondisabled readers. Jessica and Caroline take on everything from rom-com representation and dating apps to sex and breakups with a strong narrative underpinning and down-to-earth advice. The book is as much a practical tool as it is an empowering guide.
Get unstuck from the patriarchal dark ages and find love once and for all with this feminist guide to navigating the perils and pitfalls of modern dating.
It’s not your fault that dating sucks, that the patriarchy has screwed up how we find love. From addictive dating apps that were built like slot machines to advice like “Stop being so picky!” (aka “don’t trust yourself”), to single women being treated as less than because of their relationship status, dating can be a hot soup of existential exhaustion.
In Thank You, More Please, dating coach and founder of Date Brazen, Lily Womble, flips patriarchal dating on its head and challenges you to ask for and get what you want. Lily, who has set up nearly 400 dates, was one of the top matchmakers in the U.S, but in her personal life she was constantly settling for toxic situationships.
After growing up in the deep south, a late bloomer who hadn’t had a long-term relationship, she’d been labeled “too much,” and her deepest fear was that she wasn’t qualified for the love and partnership she craved. She needed to learn how not to settle and to attract love on her terms. The steps in this book are exactly the steps
Lily took to create a confident and joyful-as-fuck dating life that attracted the love of her life. Then, she broke up with matchmaking to become a feminist dating coach and help hundreds of women do the same.
This proven feminist framework will help you create an epic love life, one that attracts more than you thought possible (more, please!). She includes tips on how to:
- ditch the self-blamey, rigid dating advice and start trusting your gut,
- embrace and celebrate your singleness,
- own all your relationship preferences and be powerfully picky,
- date like a feminist and attract the partnership you crave,
- And more!
Enjoy vital and honest advice on dating and romance with this one-of-a-kind guide to relationships from TikTok’s favorite big sister, @annnexmp.
Everyone is looking for true connection in their day-to-day lives, whether to friends, romantic partners, or to themselves. In a world where dating customs are updating faster than dating apps, sound advice on matters of the heart has never been more necessary… or hard to find. That is, until @annnexmp volunteered herself as TikTok's big sister — as a fellow journeywoman, a no-bullshit sounding board, and a shoulder to lean on for everyone else trying to make sense of it all, covering topics like:
- Flirting with someone when you're nervous.
- Choosing which friends you can really trust with your innermost self.
- Wanting someone who doesn’t want you.
- Knowing if you even want to be in a relationship.
- Being enough.
- How much is too much compromise.
- The importance of accountability.
Part practical advice, part meditation on change and growth, Finding Your Person: Even If It’s You is the perfect pick-me-up when you need a dose of perspective on life and relationships: whether you're dealing with losing someone that wasn’t really yours in the first place, growing apart from someone you grew up with, sensing when someone is going to break up with you and dealing with the aftermath, or determining whether friends are there to stay. Like a hug from a supportive older sister in book form, Anne's empathetic wisdom helps make the tough times a little easier and your connections a little stronger…with your loved ones and with yourself.
A certified clinical sexologist’s radically inclusive guide to sex and dating
Swipe. Match. Get ghosted. Repeat. Modern dating can quickly start to feel like an overwhelming slog. It’s easy to forget the point of it all: this is supposed to be fun. Enter professional sex and dating coach Myisha Battle. Drawing on an engaging and diverse collection of client stories, This Is Supposed to Be Fun is a uniquely inclusive, sex-positive guide to help you skip past the games and get what you really want out of dating and relationships—no matter what that may be. Whether you’re trying to create the perfectly imperfect dating profile, stay true to your authentic self on dates, match with people interested in kink, or break up with compassion, Battle’s friendly, proven advice is indispensable. This Is Supposed to Be Fun will help make the world of dating and relationships more enjoyable (and bearable!) for everyone.