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Men with Balls

Men with Balls

The Professional Athlete's Handbook

This will be the very last book you ever read. Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don’t need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment.

This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to:



  • Showboat using classical pantomime techniques
  • Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you
  • Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games
  • Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both)
  • Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet

So grab your balls, bookboy. You’re about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They’re gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.
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Genre: Fiction / Humor / Topic / Sports

On Sale: October 27th 2008

Price: $11.99

Page Count: 288

ISBN-13: 9780316040198

What's Inside

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Praise

"Profane, beyond naughty, and, I have to say, just damn funny."—Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights, A Prayer for the City, and Three Nights in August
"One of the funniest books I've ever read--the product of a meticulously demented mind. Required reading for anyone who loves sports, and any athlete who knows how to read."—Will Leitch, author of God Save the Fan and founder of Deadspin
"Men with Balls is a terrifyingly astute takedown of pro sports masquerading as brilliant satire."—Stefan Fatsis, author of A Few Seconds of Panic and Word Freak
"Men with Balls is funny, completely uninformative, and horrifyingly profane. In short: the perfect book."—Michael Schur, cofounder of FireJoeMorgan.com and Co-Executive Producer of The Office
"Drew Magary possesses a keen insight into pro sports' unyielding loads of crap. Men with Balls oozes with, well, balls."—Jeff Pearlman, author of Boys Will Be Boys and The Bad Guys Won!
"Extremely funny. And I'm not just saying that because Drew gives me free mustache rides every Thursday."—Jay Chandrasekhar, founder of Broken Lizard and cowriter and director of Super Troopers, Club Dread, and Beerfest
"I hope to one day write a book that is even comparable to Men with Balls. It is definitely a must-read."—Chris Cooley, Pro Bowl tight end, Washington Redskins