Love by Design

6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love


By Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh

Read by Nikki Massoud

Read by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh

Formats and Prices




This item is a preorder. Your payment method will be charged immediately, and the product is expected to ship on or around February 6, 2024. This date is subject to change due to shipping delays beyond our control.

“Revolutionize your relationship," redefine romance, and build the loving connections you yearn for with this new paradigm for love that will help couples who feel disillusioned, disconnected, or unfulfilled (Dr. Pepper Schwartz). 
Many of us were raised with the idea that true love means finding our "other half" and that a spark is the best foundation for successful long-term partnerships and marriages.  But what if this understanding is flawed?

Grounded in two decades of original research and work with couples from around the world, Love by Design introduces a groundbreaking new foundation for love: The Emergent Love Model. As Dr. Nasserzadeh knows, successful partnerships do not thrive on love, at least as we know it. Instead of chasing our butterflies we need to cultivate six core relational ingredients that make it possible for love to emerge:
  • Attraction: What do you like and value about each other?
  • Respect: How do you keep each other’s needs and priorities in mind?
  • Trust: Do you know that you will show up for each other consistently?
  • Compassion: Can you honor the other’s emotional experience without making it about you?
  • Shared vision: Where are you committed to going together?
  • Loving behaviors: How do you show your partner they’re special to you?
Offering dozens of exercises and reflection prompts, this groundbreaking book—perfect for fans of 8 Rules of Love or The Love Prescription—will give readers a new foundation for their coupledom—one that will help your coupledom thrive for a lifetime.

  • “A revelatory re-conceptualization of how we create love. No other book so seamlessly blends scientific evidence with diversity and acceptance.”
    Dr. Emily Nagoski, bestselling author of Come As You Are and Burnout
  • “Dr. Nasserzadeh is an important relationship scholar and gifted clinician. Her vision of Emergent Love will revolutionize your relationship.”
    Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Professor of Sociology at the University of Washington and New York Times bestselling author
  • "Love by Design is an essential read for those looking to cultivate connected and fulfilling intimate relationships. Her model of emergent love will transform how you enter your next relationship or enliven the one you are in for years to come."
    Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, faculty at Northwestern University, bestselling author of Love Every Day and host of the podcast, Reimagining Love
  • “In Love by Design, Dr. Nasserzadeh brings us an exciting, sustainable way of perceiving and living love."
    Guy Winch, TED Speaker and author of How to Fix A Broken Heart
  • "Love by Design supports the wisdom of ages with original evidence-informed research to create a realistic and powerful way to make love work for modern relationships."
    Susan Quilliam, author of the revised The Joy of Sex
  • "Clear, concise, and wise. Dr. Nasserzadeh encourages us toward greater self-awareness, teaching readers how to strengthen our bonds by bringing compassion, loving communication, and more to their partnerships. It would do all of us well to heed her expert guidance.”
    Barry R. Komisaruk, Ph.D, Distinguished Professor, Psychology at Rutgers University and co-author of The Orgasm Answer Guide.
  • "This wise, practical book sheds new light on the perennial question of how to keep romantic love alive. Read it and be prepared never to think about love the same way again."  
    Stephen Snyder M.D. Author, Love Worth Making

On Sale
Feb 6, 2024
Hachette Audio

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh

About the Author

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, Ph.D., is a world-renowned social psychologist, sexologist, and relationship expert. She has spent over 20 years working with thousands of couples in more than 40 countries. She is highly regarded by her peers as a Key Opinion Leader and has multitude of articles, books and book chapters to her credit. Her work has also been featured in media around the world, including NPR, BBC, ABC, CNN and Goop. 

Learn more about this author