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Go‑to expert on gender identity, Schuyler Bailar, offers an essential, urgent guide that changes the conversation.

Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They clearly and compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving and why allowing trans youth to play sports is good for all kids. With a relatable narrative rooted in facts, science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized.

Schuyler Bailar didn’t set out to be an activist, but his very public transition to the Harvard men’s swim team put him in the spotlight. His choice to be open about his transition and share his experience has touched people around the world. His plain-spoken education has evolved into tireless advocacy for inclusion and collective liberation. In He/She/They, Schuyler uses storytelling and the art of conversation to give us the essential language and context of gender, meeting everyone where they are and paving the way for understanding, acceptance, and, most importantly: connection. He/She/They is more than a book on allyship; it also speaks to trans folks directly, answering the question, “does it get better?” with a resounding yes, celebrating radical trans joy. Myth-busting, affirming, compassionate, and fierce, He/She/They is a crucial, urgent–and lifesaving–book that forever changes the conversation about gender.

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"He/She/They by Schuyler Bailar is an incredible book and resource for all who want to understand gender & transness based off of someone who has lived it. Schuyler is an activist, athlete, educator, and now writer! This book is informative, fabulous to read, and leaves the reader with information, joy and proactive ways to get involved in what is one of the most important human rights conversations of our time. I love this book & Schuyler, you will too!"
Jonathan Van Ness, New York Times bestselling author, podcaster, comedian, and television personality
"Schuyler was the first trans person I ever followed on social media. He/She/They reminded me of why I hit that follow button years ago- because of Schuyler's ability to speak on gender in non-intimidating ways. I wish I had this book to guide my own journey years ago, but I am so glad it exists now. We need it!"
Dylan Mulvaney, actress, comedian, TikTok personality
"A wonderfully clear and convincing guide to comprehending and defending gender diversity."
Kirkus, Starred Review
"A smart and accessible discussion of gender and sexuality."
Publisher's Weekly
"This book is both a wonderful resource for readers who want to know more on these topics but aren’t sure where to start and for trans folks looking how to navigate coming out, dating, mental health, and more…Trans and gender-fluid teens will see themselves in Bailar's meaningful work, and cis teens will find essential information on being a good ally."
Booklist, Starred Review
"Courageous and heartwarming, He/She/They sheds light on the journey of gender discovery and acceptance. As a fellow advocate for transgender rights, I am inspired by Schuyler's unwavering honesty and resilience. His powerful narrative challenges societal norms, encouraging readers to embrace their authentic selves fearlessly. A must-read for anyone seeking understanding, compassion, and hope on the path to self-discovery."
Jazz Jennings, [she/her], activist, television personality, and author
“Tragically, it’s transgender people who find themselves most targeted and scapegoated by both evangelicals and right-wingers — especially when elections roll around. Trans activist and athlete Schuyler Bailar cuts through the smears in He/She/They, explaining why gender-affirming medical care is life-saving and how trans youth playing sports benefits all kids. Bailar’s book isn’t just for the ignorant; it also serves as a bible of trans joy.”

The Advocate

On Sale: Oct 17, 2023
Page Count: 384 pages
Publisher: Hachette Go
ISBN-13: 9780306831874