The Sparkle Effect

Before we get started, you must decide where you are headed and what your dream is. In order to be successful in anything, we have to zero in on what God wants to accomplish through us. Otherwise, we will be like a feather in the wind, blowing to the left and right in indecisiveness. What dream has He planted in your heart? If you feel unsure in that area, what do you know for sure?

As the prophet Habakkuk wrote in the Old Testament:

God gives us a vision for our future. I believe God’s dream for our lives is often revealed to us as children. When I was a little girl, I had many dreams. I wanted to be a dancer, a Broadway star, an author, a singer, an actress, a lawyer, a politician, and of course, Miss USA. I also secretly wanted to be a princess whisked away to an enchanted kingdom to live happily ever after with a prince. Do you remember what your dreams were?

These aspirations have varied based on what season of life I’ve been in, but there were two constants: to be Miss USA and to marry a prince. I remember doodling my name, “Kristen Dalton, Miss USA,” in my notebooks from the time I was twelve years old. I remember my mother reading bedtime fairy tales and Bible stories to us and watching Disney princess movies with my sisters. I was fascinated with the notion of being a princess, which I think is something the little girl in each of us can relate to if we are really honest with ourselves.

One of my absolute favorite things to do as a child was to go through the beautiful, glittering costumes in my mother’s big oak chest she turned into a dress-up box. I loved twirling around in her flowing white dress in the living room, wearing it as I ran in the big field behind our backyard and tiptoed my way into the outskirts of the forest. I imagined stories in my head about being in another time period in another land. In every story I made up, I was an advocate for justice, a difference maker, a believer in miracles and true love. The wonderful thing is, I now know those weren’t just fairy tales and stories. I can embody the qualities of the heroines I imagined myself to be, and so can you. I encourage you to sit down and remember the dreams of the little girl in you and keep them alive, no matter how difficult or how the world may scoff at them. You were given those visions for a reason.

As life would have it, we grow up and encounter distractions that lead us away from our dreams and goals. As young adults, we suddenly experience how the opinions of others impact us. Failure is painful. We consciously or subconsciously shift our aspirations to fill our need for the approval of others, or in order to prevent the blow of failing at the thing that matters most to us. It’s important that we fight against the urge to quit on our true dreams or to stop believing in ourselves, or most importantly, God. You’ll find it can be a difficult journey. I have experienced it.

When I was twelve years old, I remember noticing that I wasn’t taken seriously by my teachers and the classroom parents because I had blond hair. I dealt with the stereotype that since I was blond and cheerful, I must be dumb. All I wanted was to be smart and taken seriously. I felt inadequate when I didn’t pass the test to get into pre-algebra classes with my peers. I began fighting against the labels of others, and what was even more detrimental, my own self-doubts.

Since I didn’t qualify to take algebra in middle school, I took it later in high school. I remember coming home to do my homework. Frustration consumed me because I couldn’t understand the concepts. I would cry and say things to myself like, “You are so stupid; your brain is so dumb; you’ll never prove to everyone that you’re smart because you’re not!” At one point, I actually set a career aspiration to be a neonatologist, just so I would sound smart. I had no interest in becoming a neonatologist at all, other than because it involved babies. Have you ever done something like this? Have you ever tried to prove something about yourself because you felt inferior or deficient?

In some ways, my desire to prove my intelligence paid off because it kept me motivated and contributed to a résumé of accomplishments. But it would have saved me a lot of tears, heartache, self-loathing, and depression if I had just loved and accepted the imaginative, creative, musical girl God made me to be. I wish I had known sooner that true confidence comes in seeking His approval only. I want to help you understand how God loves the way He made you. Yes, even your perceived weaknesses like algebra.

Ask yourself these questions: What is the deep burning desire in your heart that you wish you could do something about? What innate gifts and talents do you have that the world needs?

Even your birth order can play a role into the dream you are meant to fulfill! As the oldest of four children, I have a big sister’s heart for my siblings that has transcended to all women. My heart can’t get enough of talking to girls about their value. I experience an adrenaline rush when, through heartfelt conversation, personal coaching, or speaking onstage, I get to help young women become unapologetically confident in who they are.

If you have a passion burning deep within you that has never gone away no matter what the seasons or circumstances you’ve experienced, you already know what your dream is and the purpose God has stitched into your heart. If you feel unclear about what your calling is, there are powerful ways for you to discern it.

Before moving on in the book, let’s get clear on your dream. Create a relaxing space where you can reflect and pray. Grab a journal and pen. Close your eyes each time you ask yourself one of the following questions. Then wait to see what comes to mind:

1. What do you love to do? What do you despise doing?

2. What energizes and excites you? What drains you?

3. What feels easy and natural for you?

4. What do you often find yourself doing or talking about that you can’t help?

5. What group of the population do you want to help?

6. Where do you want to see change? How do you want to take part in shaping that change?

7. What do you want to experience and learn?

8. What makes your soul come alive?

I have decided my dream is:

(Note: Don’t be frustrated if you are still unclear. If that is the case, it doesn’t have to be a specific vocation. Just write what you know to be true. Your dream may be one that reveals itself to you season by season, step by step.)

God has given you access to wisdom and His voice, which will lead you to make strong decisions. Although the Kingdom dwells within you, there are several voices that can drown out the voice of Truth. Voices of parents, teachers, peers, siblings, the enemy, and even your own. While God has placed certain people in your life to guide you, one of the most important skills to develop is the ability to discern God’s voice from everyone else’s voice, including your own inner thoughts.

Hearing many different opinions and judgments can cause confusion. But 1 Corinthians 14:33 says God is not the author of confusion, but of clarity and peace. When you feel confused or lost, that is not from God. The enemy loves to distract us from our true purpose and destiny because it keeps us right where we are—stuck, complacent, and not moving forward. The last thing He wants is for you to use your God-given gifts and talents for Kingdom influence.

Learning how to hear, know, and feel God’s voice more and more has been one of the most wondrous, rewarding journeys that I have experienced. It has proven to make my life more prosperous, protected, and awe-inspiring. I feel like every day is a treasure hunt, and He shows up in sweet, powerful ways when I seek Him.

As His daughter, you have the ability to hear and recognize His voice, too.

I challenge you to get clear on the dream God is calling you to step into. Get into the Word and pray. It is His pleasure to reveal it to you. Make an agreement to partner with Heaven in fulfilling this vision. Then write it down on paper, on a chalkboard, or in your journal. Doodle it every day.