You're Not the Problem

The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal


By Helen Villiers

By Katie McKenna

Formats and Prices




$28.99 CAD

This item is a preorder. Your payment method will be charged immediately, and the product is expected to ship on or around April 9, 2024. This date is subject to change due to shipping delays beyond our control.

Instant Sunday Times Bestseller

Two popular psychotherapists explore narcissism in family of origin, unpacking the fallout from being raised by narcissistic parents, and offering strategies for how to heal.

Many emotionally abusive behaviors from parent to child have become socially acceptable because of the way we repeat things our parents said and did, things passed down from generation to generation that persist today. You're Not the Problem enables us to recognize these behaviors and realize the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners and friends. It also shows us how to heal on a personal level but also on a societal level. The legacy and the damage caused by narcissistic and emotional abuse will carry on, perpetuated by trauma and repeating cycles, unless we learn to recognize and understand it, unless we as individuals and as a society learn how to challenge it and stop its vicious cycle of destruction—which is what this book sets out to do.
This book will explain and illustrate:
  • How to recognize emotional abuse in family relationships: its language and behaviors
  • The immediate and long term impact of these behaviors
  • Strategies for healing 
  • How to avoid repeating these behaviors

Using client narratives and sample scripts, Villiers and McKenna offer a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at our familial patterns—and how we can break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim our lives.

  • This book genuinely had me engulfed all week… love the book.”
    Shay Kaur Grewal, BBC Radio London

On Sale
Apr 9, 2024
Page Count
352 pages
Hachette Go

Helen Villiers

About the Author

Helen Villiers, LLB, PG Cert, PG Dip, MA is a psychotherapist with a Masters degree in Working Therapeutically with Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents. Helen trained in psychotherapy at USW and worked for the NHS for 5 years pre and post qualification. Helen now has a busy private practice; as well as working with clients recovering from narcissistic abuse, she also specializes in autism and ADHD, and is a couples' counsellor too. Together with co-author Katie, she hosts the successful podcast 'In Sight' where she gets to live out a lifelong dream of playing agony aunt to listeners, responding to letters, offering insights and healing to those who write in and those who tune in. Helen now lives in South Wales with her two children and their spaniel. Helen’s hobby is having hobbies, and she has her ADHD to thank for that! Helen particularly loves music and to sing. Find her on TikTok @liberationhelen
Katie McKenna, BA, MIACP is an accredited psychotherapist who specializes in parentification and emotional abuse. Katie graduated with a BA in Integrative Counselling & Psychotherapy and a Level 9 Certificate in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). What Katie finds most rewarding is educating adults on how their childhood relationships are impacting their current relationships and helping them recognize and heal from the lifelong impacts of dysfunctional family dynamics through the psychotherapy process. Katie lives in Ireland with her husband and four children and co-hosts the successful Podcast "In Sight” Exposing Narcissism with co-author Helen.
Find her on Instagram @katiemckennapsychotherapist 

Learn more about this author