You're Never too Old to Laugh

By ED FISCHER Older, but good-looking cartoonist. Syndicated in 120 newspapers and winner of 28 awards.

Meadowbrook Press
www.meadowbrookpress.com
Distributed by Simon & Schuster
New York
MBP ISBN: 978-0-88166-576-5
S & S ISBN: 978-1-451-67049-3

Fischer, Ed.

You’re Never too Old to Laugh

ISBN-13: 978-0-88166-576-5 (Meadowbrook Press)

ISBN-13: 978-1-451-67049-3 (Simon & Schuster)

1. Aging--Caricatures and cartoons.

2. Old age--Caricatures and cartoons.

3. American wit and humor, Pictorial.

Cover Art and Interior Cartoons: Ed Fischer

© 2011 by Ed Fischer

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or using any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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www.meadowbrookpress.com

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ISBN-13: 978-1-4516-7078-3 (ebook)

WELCOME TO THE NEW “OLD.”
 

Gone are the days of retiring to a rocking chair. Today, it’s the start of a fresh new life... a time to rock! Golf, camping with the grandkids, travel, adventure, laughter, and maybe a grander appreciation of beauty and what’s important. Start here with the wit and wisdom of the ages and the laughter you need to rise above the maladies that just come naturally with getting older.

Be a little quirky. It’s allowed.

It’s time for you to be the new you!

HAPPINESS IS:

Hearing your proctologist say,

“You can straighten up now.”

– George Burns

Patient: Doc, every time I drink coffee,

I get a stabbing sensation in my eye.

Doctor: Next time, take the spoon out of the cup.

– Anonymous

Never go to a doctor whose office

plants have died.

– Erma Bombeck

Doctor: I can’t do anything about your condition. I’m afraid it’s hereditary.

Patient: In that case, send the bill to my parents.

– Joe Claro

OLD AGE:

– He still chases women…
but only downhill.

– He says he’s 59…and he has
very few friends still alive who
can contradict him.

You can’t help getting older,
but you don’t have to get old.

– George Burns

You know you’re getting old when…

Your head makes promises your body can’t possibly keep.

A 55-year-old widow went out on a blind date with a 65-year-old man. Returning to her daughter’s house around 10:30, she seemed quiet and upset. “What happened?” asked the daughter. “I had to slap his face three times.” “You mean…?” began her daughter. “Yes,” she answered, “he fell asleep three times!”

Nostalgia…

The ability to remember yesterday’s prices while forgetting yesterday’s
wages.

— Los Angeles Times Syndicate

Old Timer…

Someone who can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for us.

— Treasury of Medical Humor,
edited by James E. Myers

Joe was the type who loved to talk about the good old days. At a movie, he told the girl who handed him his five-dollar ticket, “I can remember when a movie ticket was only fifteen cents.” “You’re really going to enjoy this movie then, sir,” said the ticket girl. “We have sound now.”

Q: Is it common for 50-year-olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is a problem.

– P. D. Witte

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more he is interested in her.

– Agatha Christie
 (who married an archaeologist)

First you are young;

then you are middle-aged;

then you are old;

then you are wonderful.

– Lady Diana Cooper
 (from the book Gallimaufry to Go, by J. Bryan, III)

Someone asked the 80-year-old countess of Essex, “When is a woman done with sex?” She answered, “Ask someone older than me.”

NEW FRIENDS ON A BENCH IN A BUSY PARK…