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How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane
And Other Lessons in Parenting from a Highly Questionable Source
This item is a preorder. Your payment method will be charged immediately, and the product is expected to ship on or around April 29, 2014. This date is subject to change due to shipping delays beyond our control.
Description
Looking for the perfect book to help you survive childbirth and parenting with your sanity intact?
Look elsewhere.
For Johanna Stein (writer/comedian/forward/slash/abuser and occasionally neurotic/immature/way-too-candid mom), parenting is an extreme sport. Her stories from the trenches may not always be shared experiences — Have you ever wondered if your baby’s “soft spot” is like a delete key? Trained your preschooler for a zombie invasion? Accused a nearly nude stranger of being pregnant? Made sweet, bimonthly love to your spouse while your toddler serenaded you through the adjoining wall? Attempted to calm your screaming baby on an airplane with a hand puppet, only to have it lead to one of the most disgusting experiences of your life? — but they will always make you laugh.
So, no, this book won’t teach you how to deal with nipple blisters or Oedipal complexes. But if you want to learn why you should never attempt to play a practical joke in the hospital delivery room, then you’re in the right place.
Look elsewhere.
For Johanna Stein (writer/comedian/forward/slash/abuser and occasionally neurotic/immature/way-too-candid mom), parenting is an extreme sport. Her stories from the trenches may not always be shared experiences — Have you ever wondered if your baby’s “soft spot” is like a delete key? Trained your preschooler for a zombie invasion? Accused a nearly nude stranger of being pregnant? Made sweet, bimonthly love to your spouse while your toddler serenaded you through the adjoining wall? Attempted to calm your screaming baby on an airplane with a hand puppet, only to have it lead to one of the most disgusting experiences of your life? — but they will always make you laugh.
So, no, this book won’t teach you how to deal with nipple blisters or Oedipal complexes. But if you want to learn why you should never attempt to play a practical joke in the hospital delivery room, then you’re in the right place.
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Praise
"Johanna Stein's essays make me laugh way too loud, way too hard, and way too long. She's like the David Sedaris of moms."—Annie Mumolo, cowriter, Bridesmaids
"These stories will make milk shoot from one of your nostrils and a martini from the other. Johanna Stein brings to mind the unflinching honesty and compassion of Nora Ephron."—Nia Vardalos, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, New York Times bestselling author, Instant Mom
"Johanna Stein is one of the funniest women on the planet."—Alanis Morissette
"It is dangerous to read her any place where it is inappropriate to laugh uncontrollably. It is also dangerous to read her if your bladder control is not what it once was after childbirth. But once you soldier through and do read her, you have made a friend—one who 'gets it' and makes 'it' easier to do because she's on your team."—Lisa Belkin, bestselling author, Senior Columnist, Huffington Post
"Much more than 'mommy lit,' this book will make any reader laugh so hard they'll pee a little. Or maybe a lot."—Beth Littleford, actress and The Daily Show correspondent
"Johanna Stein is lovely, insightful, and a big bowl of funny."—Jeff Garlin, comedian/writer/producer, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Goldbergs
"These stories will make milk shoot from one of your nostrils and a martini from the other. Johanna Stein brings to mind the unflinching honesty and compassion of Nora Ephron."—Nia Vardalos, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, New York Times bestselling author, Instant Mom
"Johanna Stein is one of the funniest women on the planet."—Alanis Morissette
"It is dangerous to read her any place where it is inappropriate to laugh uncontrollably. It is also dangerous to read her if your bladder control is not what it once was after childbirth. But once you soldier through and do read her, you have made a friend—one who 'gets it' and makes 'it' easier to do because she's on your team."—Lisa Belkin, bestselling author, Senior Columnist, Huffington Post
"Much more than 'mommy lit,' this book will make any reader laugh so hard they'll pee a little. Or maybe a lot."—Beth Littleford, actress and The Daily Show correspondent
"Johanna Stein is lovely, insightful, and a big bowl of funny."—Jeff Garlin, comedian/writer/producer, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Goldbergs