Open Hearts

While painting one morning, I found I was drawing simple sketches of hearts over and over, with a kind of sadness. It was as though the conventional heart shape seemed almost too closed. It suggested neat, loving people, each cut off from the other, each enclosed as if to protect themselves from pain. And I relaxed and began to sketch more openly, more fluidly, and the hearts were slightly open, more hopeful, like a door being opened.

As I drew, I found the hearts linking together, and I experienced an extraordinary mix of peace and excitement which hasn’t left me. It came to me that we are all linked under the same skies, every one of us. We are all experiencing the same glorious opera of life. Open and linked, receptive and loving; the linked hearts are not broken, but open. But the linked heart is not just about loving and giving; it is about being receptive to your own voice, to your own talents, and to your opportunities. The open heart doesn’t say, “No, I can’t do that.” It says, “Yes, I’m open to change, open to challenges. This is my one shot at life!”

An open heart doesn’t make you vulnerable to intruders; it makes you invulnerable, because you know you can survive. You can let go of what is upsetting, really hurtful, really tough, and allow something beautiful and new to enter. If your heart is open, it can never stay broken.

I wanted to compile a book which celebrated and explored the idea of the open heart, which was not merely heartwarming but heart opening. Keep this book by your bed. Consult it when the going gets tough. Send it to a friend who is going through a bad time. This book celebrates life and will help you to live it more richly and rewardingly. It mixes the thoughts of inspirational writers with those of ordinary people. It explores the tolerance that is the basis of real and enduring happiness.

Above all, this book will show you how to be tolerant of yourself. My mother would tell me, “You can’t truly love someone else until you love yourself,” and I know she was right. She died recently, and this book is in part for her, because she had such an open heart. She gave and gave, and you know, the more she gave of her hospitality, her time, and her advice, the more she received. My sisters and I often encounter our mother’s friends in our travels. They say, “Oh, Mieke, we used to stay with her; we loved her so,” and they look after us as our mother once looked after them. For the open heart is not stopped by death; the open heart continues.

After my divorce I felt I could never trust or love again. I had too much pain and baggage ever to be free to love and be loved. Then I met James. He astounded me with his ability to see through the happy exterior I could simulate so well, performer that I am, and he asked me what or who could have made me so full of pain. His open-hearted gesture to dare ask, and then truly to listen, allowed me to let go of all the hurt and judgments I harbored about myself and others. He loved me “warts and all” and continues to fifteen years later.

If James hadn’t helped me to open my heart again, we would not have known the amazing life we now have—six kids, varied careers, life adventures, and so much love from friends and family. I dared to be vulnerable and to trust and it has shown me that to live with an open heart is the only way to experience life to the fullest.

Of course, the open heart is about love. I am not talking just about romantic love, but love for yourself, love for your talents, and love for the exquisite beauty of the natural world. It is love for your neighbors, your friends, your family, and love of God, in whatever form you happen to find Him. For the open heart is, more than anything else, about tolerance, about seeing beyond the petty into the greater picture. It is the opposite of hate. In this present world of division and intolerance, we need open hearts.