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This Road Sucks
And Other Street Signs We Really Need
Contributors
By Brad DeMarea
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- ebook $9.99 $12.99 CAD
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Put On Your Hazards and Read This
The very safety of our drivers is at stake. Our countries’ drivers have grown restless behind the wheel — they’ve mastered texting, one knee driving, and can eat enormous burritos while navigating a dicey pass on a two-lane highway. Our current system of street signs is woefully out of touch and in danger of becoming completely irrelevant. What does merge mean to a college kid hauling ass in a Mustang, sexting his girlfriend while downing a Big Gulp? We need street signs that relate to the current driver, the driver of tomorrow, not the two-hands-on-the-wheel, signal-at-every-turn dinosaur. This book is your bible of the American road. You’re welcome.
Excerpt
AND OTHER STREET SIGNS WE REALLY NEED
Dan Consiglio and Brad DeMarea
© 2014 by Dan Consiglio and Brad DeMarea
Published by Running Press,
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright Conventions
This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic or
mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now
known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher.
Books published by Running Press are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the United
States by corporations, institutions, and other organizations. For more information, please contact the
Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300 Chestnut Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia,
PA 19103, or call (800) 810-4145, ext. 5000, or e-mail special.markets@perseusbooks.com.
e-book ISBN 978-0-7624-5414-3
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013953190
Edited by Jordana Tusman
Typography: Futura
Running Press Book Publishers
2300 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, PA 19103-4371
Visit us on the web!
www.runningpress.com
INTRODUCTION
America’s complex network of highways, byways, side streets,
alleys, and bumpy-as-shit back-ass country roads combine to create a
pulsing nerve center for this enormous-as-fuck country. And to help
keep America moving, it is imperative that each and every driver
fully comprehends and obeys the rules of the road.
This Road Sucks
outlines important nationwide signage designed to keep drivers
informed and aware of their surroundings.
Operating a motor vehicle, also known as “driving,” or, in some
cases, “straight-up rollin’,” is a privilege, not a right. Whether you
drive a car, a minivan, a truck with a gun rack and Jesus fish,
a motorcycle, or a Shriner’s car, the shared rules and responsibilities
of the road are paramount to safe passage.
Please take the time necessary to commit each and every sign in
this book to memory. Maybe try flashcards, moron. Remember, an
informed driver is a safe driver.
Whether you are an elderly, experienced driver or a pimply-ass
bitch who just earned your license,
This Road Sucks
is a must-read
before you merge onto the road of life.
TITLE 7 CODE 2.1
ASSHOLE AHEAD
Do not expect to be able to change
lanes, because this asshole has no
intention of letting you in. Driver
should also be aware that it appears
this asshole is wearing a scarf, listening
to trance music, and downing a
soy nonfat latte.
4
TITLE 11 CODE 4.3
WORKMAN WITH
THUMB UP ASS
Drivers may experience delays due to
hungover and possibly stoned workmen
standing around smoking and talking
about poon they’ll never get.
6
TITLE 14 CODE 6.2
SHOCKINGLY FILTHY
RESTROOM, NEXT EXIT
Be warned: The service station restroom
has shit everywhere, and not just on
the bowl. Somehow, there’s even shit on
the wall—and it’s really high up there.
8
TITLE 9 CODE 3.1
BUMP WILL FUCK
UP YOUR CAR
Drivers, don’t get all cute and try
to test this bump. This here bump means
fucking business.
10
TITLE 4 CODE 7.6
STOPTIONAL
When this sign is present, drivers
should recognize that the area is not
currently policed and, let’s be honest,
never is because this block is so
shitty. Proceed to roll through stops
or ignore them altogether.
12
TITLE 14 CODE 6.3
MOTEL THAT SHOWS
PORN, NEXT EXIT
If driver feels an overwhelming
Genre:
- On Sale
- Jun 10, 2014
- Page Count
- 128 pages
- Publisher
- Running Press
- ISBN-13
- 9780762454136
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