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What You Don't Know About Turning 50
A Funny Birthday Quiz
By P.D. Witte
Formats and Prices
- Trade Paperback $7.99 $11.99 CAD
- ebook (Digital original) $6.99 $8.99 CAD
This item is a preorder. Your payment method will be charged immediately, and the product is expected to ship on or around November 1, 1999. This date is subject to change due to shipping delays beyond our control.
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Q: Is 50 too young to be worried about bladder control problems?
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50-year-old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Here is an outrageous quiz that can ease the pain of turning 50 and provide entertainment for any 50th birthday party. Keep those bifocals handy.
Romance and Sex
Q: If women reach their sexual peak at age 40, when do men reach their sexual peak?
A: During Baywatch.
Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.
Q: Losing one’s virginity can be exhilarating, terrifying, and painful, but ultimately a big relief. Is there a similar experience for 50-year-olds?
A: Yes: passing a kidney stone.
Q: A lot of pro basketball players have shaved their heads. Doesn’t that prove that baldness is sexy?
A: Absolutely—and its effect on women may be intensified if you’re also under 30, over 6-feet-6, incredibly athletic, and wealthier than many Eastern European nations.
Q: What sort of people show up at a mixer for singles over 50?
A: People over 60.
Q: What’s the most insulting word to describe a 50-year-old man’s flirtations?
Q: When you’re 50, is there a large mental component to sex?
A: Yes, especially if your sex life consists mostly of fond memories.
Q: What do men and women over 50 do to get down and dirty?
A: They take up gardening.
Q: Do 50-year-old men ever get “the seven-year itch”?
A: Yes, but there are many effective medications available over the counter.
Q: Why is a failed romance more painful for people over 50?
A: You wake up with an aching heart and an aching back.
Q: Can a 50-year-old woman be a femme fatale?
A: Yes, if she marries an 80-year-old man with a heart condition.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you’ll have a place to live.
- On Sale
- Nov 1, 1999
- Page Count
- 128 pages
- Running Press