The Monroe Doctrine

I had taught middle school for ten years when I decided it was time to teach high school. Well-meaning friends said, "Those high school kids are big and bad." But I thought, "They are the same kids I've been teaching for years. They are just bigger and older. I taught and controlled them well in middle school; I can do the same in high school." And I did!

Later, I took a job as one of the deans of discipline in a high school of over 4,000 students. Before I left my old job, my previous supervisor said, "You will be dealing with the underbelly of the school. Soon, you will come crawling back, begging me for a full teaching schedule." I didn't!

What I learned in my dean's office enlarged my sense of compassion and increased my skills for helping distressed people. Every day I dealt with dozens of ordinary children who'd gotten into trouble because of life circumstances over which they had no control. And I learned a lot.

I learned that some of my fellow teachers provoke and antagonize kids.

I learned that many kids who are victims of neglect and of physical, psychological, and sexual abuse can't speak about their pain—and so they act it out instead.

I learned that the same kid who acts obnoxious and profane in order to get attention and respect from his peers can be a pussycat when you get him alone, one-on-one.

I learned that the parents of troubled kids are as troubled, and often more troubled, than their kids.

I became a better teacher, counselor, and parent as a result of working with the "underbelly" of the school. Thank God I knew enough to abandon the fears that my old supervisor had encouraged me to cling to.

I began to get accustomed to leadership when I was nine years old in the fourth grade. It was then that I ran for secretary of the student council at my father's insistence. When I asked him, "Should I run, Daddy?" He responded, "What's the question? Run!" So I ran and was elected. It was a turning point for me because I'd previously been shy and retiring, but as secretary I had to learn to stand before my peers, read the minutes that I had written, and amend them according to suggestions.

By the end of the sixth grade, inspired by an innovative and devilishly handsome school leader, Mr. James Cooper, I had learned Robert's Rules of Order and had become vice president. I never looked back, and in every school I attended through college I led one or more student organizations.

The habit of leading should begin early. At home and in school, children need to be given opportunities to lead. Getting accustomed to leading early yields both self-confidence and joy in seeing the success or fruition of a project that you spearheaded. Because I was given the opportunity and training to lead, I knew from an early age how leaders can improve the way people think, solve problems, and make things happen. I also knew that leadership training accustoms the future leader to be a cooperative, contributing follower when it is someone else's turn to lead.

A great boss must be able to analyze the causes of institutional problems or failures. She must also be willing and able to analyze her own behavior as a contributing factor. This requires three things: solitary self-scrutiny, to-the-bone honesty, and lots of ego strength.

Don't assume that your staff or your trusted assistant will tell you what you need to hear. They may be too intimidated—or too kind—to confront you with the truth about yourself.

I've seen an organization begin to die because the boss was unwilling or unable to honestly analyze his own role in causing an exodus of talented staff members (a common organizational problem).

Imagine that you are facing this same problem. If you are a great boss who wants to remain great, you need to analyze yourself. Start by asking and answering crucial questions about your own leadership methods and style.

Whether you recognize it or not, every job you've ever held has taught you something about leading well.

When I worked in Grandpa Ed's fish and produce store, located across the driveway from his house in Potter's Crossing, New Jersey, I learned that every customer expected to be recognized as important. Each one wanted to be served as soon as he or she arrived, no matter what time of day it might be or how preoccupied I might feel.

One man who lived alone way back in the woods would wake me very early in the morning by banging on the side of Grandpa Ed's house. I would get up and cheerily serve him, filleting fish, weighing potatoes and onions, and packing up a cabbage and a box of cornmeal and lard. I had seen my grandfather behave this way, and I learned to do the same. That's how Grandpa Ed kept his customers. More important, that's why they respected him as a merchant and a person.

Later, in one of my first paid jobs, I worked in the lingerie department on the second floor of Macy's on 34th Street in New York City. It was a part-time job, and I was called a Saturday Only (even though I also worked the late night shift on Thursdays). Dealing with the customers wasn't easy. They'd ask to see all the available colors of the slips, then either choose the white one on display or ask for a color we didn't have. If they chose the white one from the counter, they'd ask, "May I have a fresh one from underneath?" I learned to say, "Of course, Miss," with a smile and produce a fresh one.

Whenever I observe how many businesses are run, I am particularly struck and vexed by the absence of the attention paid to service to the customer. I learned early on in my Grandpa Ed's fish and produce store that it was important to serve and satisfy the customers. I apply this lesson to my customer/clients who were my students and I attribute my success to paying attention to service. My advice to bosses who hire or inherit staff who exhibit the following behaviors is to let them go. Let go staff who do careless shabby work. Let go staff who are frequently late or absent. Let go staff who treat customers as intrusions into their private conversations. Let go staff who are subtly insubordinate. Let them go, otherwise they will kill the organization or you. Follow my mentor's advice, which he got from his mentor, "I don't get ulcers; I give ulcers." Remember you are in business to serve customers. If you don't want to serve and satisfy customers, get into another line of work where you don't have to deal with people.

Some bosses think that they are the sole possessors of wisdom. They think that asking others for advice is a sign of weakness, and they feel that they will be diminished in the eyes of their employees if they ask for help. Smart bosses know better. Smart bosses hire smart people, and then they learn from them—for the good of the organization.

When the boss asks his staff members, "What do you think?" or "How would you do this?" or "Got any ideas about how we could solve this problem?" he not only learns new things but also comes off as a leader who respects and appreciates his people. They in turn feel flattered by their boss's attitude, and they are likely to turn their performance level up a notch or two: "My boss needs me," they think, "I'd better not let him down!"