Dear Every Breath All Entries 10

On October 26th 2018 you broke my heart for the last time. As if ending our relationship a year ago wasnt enough, trying to be friends when my heart and soul know we are more then that, ending our friendship by telling me I was no longer required was the deepest cut of all. My love for you never waivered. My feelings never quit. My devotion to you never ended. I still had hope that you would see we belonged together. I'm not required. My heart and soul never broke so much in my whole life. There's nothing left but a hollow shell. Eternally yours, Sunshine

You were my first born, the one who taught a young girl how to truly love. I went to every awards, every parent meeting, and every ball game (that one season you played). I’ve loved you every second for 23 years. 5 years ago you felt you were better off without your sister and me in your life. I have been broken ever since. I’ve hidden my pain of losing you and no one really knows the agony my heart feels everyday. I pray one day you will release your father’s words from your mind and find out for yourself who we are. You are forever my baby boy....love always, Mom

I’m happily married. I wouldn’t change my life for anything in the universe. But a few years before I was married, an old boyfriend, A, came into my life while my then boyfriend (now husband), C, were split up. We almost got back together but there was an argument when C went through my phone one evening and started telling A off and we never spoke again. He’s happily married now, too, but I will always wonder what could have been. A was my first true love since I was 13. I think I will always love him and wonder what if.

I am your breath, so beautiful are the days I spend with you, so inexorable the passing of time. I do not tell the incipit of our history, there is no beginning, and I pray from the bottom of my heart that there is never an end. You entered my life like a hurricane, and you messed up my cosmic order.

I've prayed for you for so long. I can't believe after years of treatments, shots, medications and Dr visits it's finally happened. I'm still in shock that in just a few short months I am going to be a mom. Your father and I cannot wait to meet you. Know you are wanted and loved and are prayed for. For those still longing, do not give up hope.

Imagine my surprise as I read the the date when Hope planned to meet Tru, October16, 2014, the exact date that I reconnected with you, my college sweetheart from 50 years ago. It was your 69th birthday. Little did either of us know you wouldn’t live to see your 70th. I was listening to my CD in the car and had to pull over because my eyes were so full of tears. I’ll look for you in the next life.

In her swan song she made him make two promises. Assurances in which he knew weren't made to be taken at face value. Even more reason to oblige. He’d taken his last breath on more than one occasion. Kaylani was a 53rd card in a deck of 52. An unheard of, unthinkable and unimaginable woman. ‘I never want to see you again,’ she forced from her quivering lips. Their decade long love story told him otherwise. Her voice cracked as her delicate hand rest alongside the stained front door in which he’d only finished two weeks prior. ‘And please buckle your seat belt.’ He chose not to.

How on earth am I to remain focused? When I am blinded by your glow... Breathless from your touch... Drawn to your smile... Mesmerised by your mind... And deafened, by the thundorous beat of your heart.. Begging you to listen to it. One. Last. Time.

Will you ever know how I truly feel about you? I was 16 years old when I first met you, now I am 24. I have loved you in silence during these passing years because I have never gotten the courage to express my feelings towards you. Every time I see you, it literally feels like my heart is going to pop out of my chest, and a million butterflies rush inside my stomach. I will never forget the first time you gave me a hug, I was the happiest girl on earth that day. Unfortunately, our paths have diverted and I rarely see you now. Just know that I love you Tavo, my platonic love.

You see I am severly depressed and have even considerd taking my own life. No one really knows this, not even him. Although he knows i am unhappy he doesnt know how truley intense it can be. He doesnt know that he made me forget for a few minutes how much it hurt to be awake. No man who is every girls dream would want to be with a girl as broken as me. This led me to never tell him of my love. Now we are growing to be strangers which is my second biggest fear. The first is he will get his father's heredity cancer. Thats not unpopular here in NC

16 yrs ago we fell in love. 16 yrs ago I told a lie that ruined chances of living a life knowing your love. 15 yrs ago I told the truth betraying your trust, knowing you would never forgive. I know your hugs/smell/your laugh, our souls colliding, & hurt. My soul re-shatters daily as I relive my mistake. You knew me at my rawest vulnerable state & you protected that valiantly. I will be eternally tortured by my loss of you. For a moment I had a soulful passionate love. Scott know that I loved you truly. I will never find another. I can’t un-love you. Always sorry & yours-LisaAnna

Our story is unlike any other. We were raised in two completely different ways, but our love has overcome the odds. As the years have passed, we have both grown and matured. I have never meant to hurt you, and for doing so, I am so regrettably sorry. I love you so much, but you tend to say things that hurt so bad. It's like you are stabbing me, each and every time. I feel like I have internal scars from how you have hurt me. I certainly pray that we will love eachother forever and that we won't stray. I would do anything for you, and I truly hope deep down you know that.

Straight out of a dream, I had when I was 17. Moonlight spilling on your face, feeling the warmth of your embrace, heats up the cold dark night, better than the fire light. Words of promise in my ear, wish you were always here. The white of the dying embers, I'll always remember. Even though you feel so far, just look up at the stars. The night, all things revealed, your love did heal. The truth of it all is simply this: you're not mine to want or miss. Love eternal - that girl

I know that I cannot fix what broke our friendship. It's been a little over a year since we parted ways. I cried every day for the first 8 months and I really thought I wasn't going to make it. How could I continue with out my best friend? it just wasn't possible but somehow I'm still here. The emptiness is starting to fade and in its place is hope that I thought I lost for good. I will always think of you no matter how much time passes and although I may have felt a certain way about you then what I miss the most now is our friendship but I have accepted its no longer possible.

the only person that truly knows my thoughts..I am sitting here getting ready to make yet another change in my life. I am in my late 40's and have lived a fair life up to this point. I am married to a wonderful man who says I am the love of his life and his entire world.I wish I could say the same thing. I lost myself years ago. I have never seen that person again. I miss her. Oh I was fierce. I wrote, I loved, I had a very loud opinionated mind. Now I am the appeaser.I know my husband deserves to be fully loved. I am unable to do that and it is so unfair to him. confusion.

I just finished reading Every Breath and found it a truly enjoyable read. Especially liked the beach descriptions, felt like I was right their walking alongside Tru and Hope. Lovely story, hard to believe it was actually true.

When we got that phone call that changed our whole world. I'll never forget mom flew out the door and I was left alone at home with the knowing that just just had a massive heart attack at age 35. You where taken from your family here on earth way too soon. I miss you every day,I got married and you wasn't there to give me away. I'll never get to go camping, fishing, run yoyos, play basketball with you,or even help you build something ever again. I am you made over its scary. I am taking care of mom for you until ya can be together again. I cry all the time!! See ya again Amanda

You know that I was getting married under the pressure of my parents. That marriage didnt work. Even I wished if someone stopped me that time.Years later when you said that you wanted to stop me from that marriage and didn't tell me because you thought you are giving me hope as I was madly in love with you. I knew that you were going through the toughest period of your life and didn't want someone into it.I should have waited for you a life time if you just stopped me.Now we have chosen different ways and our story became a memory. A bitter sweet memory which is not getting faded...

They say you’ll know when you know, but how am I supposed to know? Is it the man I almost married? Is it the man I’ve been friends with for 15 years? I know the answer to both. I learned the hard way that it’s neither one. I’m not the belle of the ball, but I have so much to offer. Is there someone out there for me or am I destined to be alone? Sometimes I believe I’m better off on my own. But why would anyone want to live that way? I want someone to pray with, love with, laugh with and grow with. I want the “zing”, the “spark”, the “time just stopped” kind of love.

This I know is true. I love you! From the first day we met I instantly felt something for you. My past made me build walls so I wouldn't get hurt again. With you I couldn't help but fall. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I was scared and everything we were going through made it that much harder. There were so many times I thought of ending it and just walk away but for whatever reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm finding it harder to walk away from you that I known for a year that it was to walk away from my ex of 7 years. I love you, I truly do

I forgive you. Even though I was in a toxic relationship with you for almost two years, I now understand that I needed that experience to grow. There were more bad times than good times, but I am going to stay with the good memories because at the time, you were all I ever needed. It has been almost six months since we last talked, and in those six months I have embarked in a journey of self-love. I can honestly say that I am genuinely happy at this point in my life. Yes, I still think about you and miss you at times but that is all part of the process. Thank you for everything!

There is so much to say. It's hard to choose the right words. I think I will just leave what I hope. I hope love really conquers all. I found my love. We have ups and downs but he is my forever and always. I hope the world can put aside all the differences and work together instead of against each other. I hope and truly believe God is real. I think only God could create such an amazing world. And I hope everyone who reads this finds peace.

I hope you grow up and always know your self worth. Know you are enough, know you are loved, know you are strong and capable if you just believe in yourself. Know that what the world deems a “disability” is actually your superpower! Don’t ever let this world or a single person steal the joy in your heart, because son, you radiate the joy of the world to all those that know you.

Questioning yourself doesn’t make you a weak person, in fact it will always make you a better person because questioning is sens of life, it will maybe at first confuse you and your mind but you’ll find your way. We all have our way of happiness.

I hope as you grow up you know that sometimes things happen in life that can’t be changed , even though you may wish you could turn back time. I think today was the start to try to change those for you and your dad. I know peanut really loves you and she wanted for many years to see you! I’m praying that I can see you too because it’s been a long long time. I hope you know we’ve all loved you even if it was from a distance. I hope some day you will know the truth of what really happen between your mom and dad and it will make you understand things a little clearer. Love , granny

I long to find my Mr Right, whoever he may be. I want a love like Landon and Jamie. I want to experience what they had. I want to be loved in spite of my disability

I have been thinking a lot lately if I should have another child. I have a son and a step son. But that's not the problem. The problem is...I don't know if ill ever be mentally ready. I don't handle stress well so that scares me. I want another baby though. I'm thinking about going back to therapy and seeing if that helps. I just want to bring another life into this world and love the baby unconditionally. Will that be possible? I hope so..... ~K

As I sit here today and am more then thankful to have you. Just a little over 2 years ago I was in a really bad place with a really bad person. Many years I prayed and prayed to help me get away from him. Slipping more and more into depression. I am not proud to say but at one point was ready to end it all. Then you came into my live. The moment you said hi I knew.I knew you were and still are my soulmate. I love you more then I will ever be able to show you. You saved me.You wrap your arms around me when I am fighting my demons. You have stood by me even at my darkest. Thank you

Its hard. It’s hard when you love two people at one time. When there’s your high school best friend,and your high school boyfriend. When one becomes your husband, and the other is just a long gone wish. They say you don’t know what ya got till it’s gone. And sometimes, that’s the realist thing in life.Especially if the long gone wish is a complete opposite from your husband. I mean. What do you do when you love two people but you feel more of a draw to someone who should’ve been the one, and would’ve been....had we just said we liked each other way back when...