Get Out of There, Cat!

INTRODUCTION

What drives cats to sit (and jump, and climb, and sleep) in and on anything they can possibly find? Whatever it may be, our feline friends know it, and we don’t. Our warm, clean laundry; empty boxes intended for the trash; and important and irreplaceable documents—all have fallen victim to our cats’ desire to take over anything and everything we own.

Luckily for these pesky little creatures, they somehow manage to appear irresistibly adorable in the process of ruining our every possession. It is from these hilarious and infuriating moments that the Get Out of There, Cat! (GOOTC) blog was born—a collection of photos from cat owners around the world who struggle daily with a cat (or cats) who just don’t seem to get the hint.

From sitting on our hands while we’re trying to type, to yowling outside our bedroom doors all night, let’s face it: cats rule our world. And while we don’t want in any way to encourage this unacceptable behavior, we still can’t help but to fawn over them when they’re in all their annoying yet oh-so-adorable glory. After all, why else would we spend exorbitant amounts of money on their holistic food, organic catnip, and recyclable scratch pads? Forget dogs; cats are our best friends—even if they do occasionally try to kill us by using us as launch pads from which to pounce on the laser pointer light.

We, therefore, would like to present for your viewing and reading pleasure the official Get Out of There, Cat! book, featuring some of our most favorite submissions from the blog, as well as never-before-seen photos and captions. To see more, visit us at getoutoftherecat.tumblr.com; follow us on Twitter at @getoutofthercat and “like” our page on Facebook. Something tells me that we will not be running out of cat photos anytime soon.

DISASTERS WAITING TO HAPPEN

(CAT, YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE.)

Sometimes it really seems like our cats have it out for us. You feed them, care for them, let them scratch up your furniture, and all you get in return is Kitty trying to trip you as you carry a stack of laundry down the stairs, or knock over the most expensive thing in your house that you purposely placed out of her reach. The truth is, cats are maniacal little critters intent on our destruction, and this chapter is dedicated to exposing them for what they truly are. Just don’t let your cat get a peek at any of these photos; we wouldn’t want her getting any more bright ideas.

For the last time, cat, I can’t smuggle you to Vegas inside my carry-on.

Get out of there, cat. I don’t know where you found a feline-size tank, but I’m not intimidated. You are not a soldier. You are a cat.

No, cat. I’m not refilling the aquarium and buying more fish.
Not after what you did to the last batch.

Get away from there, cat. It’s an aquarium, not a snack bar.

Don’t hide in the Christmas tree, cat.
You’ll give Santa a heart attack. Then I’ll be sure to get a lump of coal.

You’re terrible at hide-and-seek, cat.
Everyone knows you’re hiding in that urn.

. . . Everyone still knows, cat.

Quit looking for goodies, cat. I went shopping for me, not for you.

Put that down and get off the couch, cat.
You’re a mess. Have you even looked for a job this week?

Get away from that fish, cat.

At least wash your paws when you’re done.

This is what happens when you consort with skunks, cat.

Get out of there, cat. The party’s over.
You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

YOU FOUND HER WHERE?

(AND HOW DID SHE GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?)

The heart of GOOTC is, of course, our cats’ penchant for getting into places they shouldn’t. It’s as if they have an inner compass that directs them to the most inconvenient places. You’d think your cat had swallowed a magnet by the way she’s attracted to the refrigerator. Of course, we can often only speculate as to how they even got into these situations to begin with. Here, you’ll see some of the stranger places we’ve found our cats over the years.

Why are you sitting in the flower box, cat, and what did you do with the peonies?

Don’t jump on me, cat.
Your mountain lion impression is spot-on, but I’m sick of being ambushed.

Time to go into winter storage, cat.
You can come out again next November.