Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney

Mall Crawl

We went to the mall the day after Thanksgiving

to purchase the Christmas gifts we would be giving.

My mother, my father, my sister, and I,

we all had our lists of the presents we’d buy.

We got up at dawn and went straight to the mall,

but came home without any presents at all.

For though we were there from the morning till dark,

we spent the day looking for someplace to park.

December Substitute

Our substitute is strange because

he looks a lot like Santa Claus.

In fact, the moment he walked in

we thought that he was Santa’s twin.

We wouldn’t think it quite so weird,

if it were just his snowy beard.

But also he has big black boots

and wears these fuzzy bright red suits.

He’s got a rather rounded gut

that’s like a bowl of you-know-what.

And when he laughs, it’s deep and low

and sounds a lot like “Ho-ho-ho!”

He asks us all if we’ve been good

and sleeping when we know we should.

He talks of reindeer, sleighs, and elves

and tells us to behave ourselves.

And when it’s time for us to go

he dashes out into the snow.

But yesterday we figured out

just what our sub is all about.

We know just why he leaves so quick,

and why he’s dressed like Old Saint Nick

in hat and coat and boots and all:

He’s working evenings at the mall.

The Third-Grade Christmas Play

My mother drops me off at school.

I shout, “Hooray! Hooray!

Today’s the day I’m starring in

the third-grade Christmas play!”

I’m all decked out like Santa Claus

and looking kind of weird.

I’m dressed in red from head to toe

with mustache, wig, and beard.

There’s rouge upon my cheeks and ears