Are You There God? It's Me, Margarita

TOOLS

Glassware

Collins Glass (10 to 14 ounces): Built like a highball glass, but taller and narrower. Best for icy, very large tropical drinks. Lord Jim Beam, anyone?

Copper Mug (10 to 12 ounces): Every Instagram post of a Moscow mule features one of these, but around here we mix it up with drinks that step outside the vodka box. David Copper Mug, you’re on.

Coupe Glass (5 to 7 ounces): How the English do Champagne—and how hipsters drink it these days. Elegant but low-key, with a rounded bowl.

Highball (10 to 12 ounces): Midway between a rocks and a Collins glass, but taller than the former and shorter and fatter than the latter. If you could only have one book on a desert island, you’d choose wisely; if you could only have one glass, you’d choose this.

Mason Jar (1 cup to ½ gallon): Though generally used for bottling preserves, this also makes for a great drink vessel. Get ready for a whole lotta Southern stories served up farm-style.

Mug (10 to 12 ounces): This hardworking coffee cup does double duty for hot alcoholic drinks. If you thought Fifty Shades of Grey steamed up your Kindle, wait’ll you try some of our piping-hot hooch.

Pint Glass (16 to 20 ounces): An all-purpose beer-chugger, this glass tapers at the bottom, and some of them have a “bulb” near the lip for a better grip.

Rocks (or Lowball or Old-Fashioned) Glass (6 to 10 ounces): A drink poured “on the rocks”—that’s over ice, rookie—is frequently served in one of these short, heavy tumblers.

Shot Glass (¾ to 2 ounces): For enjoying a variety of aptly named “shots.” The smallest of drinking vessels, these are also handy as measuring devices.

Thermos (up to 40 ounces): A go-to container for on-the-go readers. (Note: Never drink and drive, but do put on an audiobook and coast.)

Wineglass (8 to 22 ounces): With as many subtle shapes as there are types of wine (and genres of book), we put the wineglass to work on drinks that go beyond your basic Bordeaux.

Equipment

Jigger: For small liquid measurements. Made out of metal in an hourglass shape, it’s available in a variety of sizes. We prefer the 1-ounce over the 1½-ounce model.

Juicer: The classy crowd prefers their lemons and limes freshly juiced, whether by hand or by machine—but we won’t balk if you go the bottled route. On average, lemons and limes produce about an ounce of juice each.

Measuring Cups and Spoons: Dry cups typically range from ¼ cup to 1 cup. For larger liquid measurements, it’s easiest to have a standard 2-cup glass measuring cup. Measuring spoons range in size from ¼ teaspoon to 1 tablespoon.

Muddler: Grown-up term for a fruit masher, which looks like a mini baseball bat. Releases oils and flavors in herbs and berries.

Shaker: An essential device that need not intimidate. Our fave is the Cobbler—a three-part metal contraption (counting the capped lid) with the strainer built right in. The other varieties are the Boston (a glass mixing cup and metal container) and the French (basically a Cobbler shaker sans strainer). Both require a separate strainer, and that’s valuable time you could be hanging out at the library. Or writing the next great American novel. Or drinking.

Strainer: Like a sifter for liquids. If you ignored our advice to buy the all-in-one Cobbler shaker, you’ll want to pick up a Hawthorne strainer, which will fit tightly into your shaker’s metal mouth. The Hawthorne filters only the liquids (not the ice) into a cocktail.

Vegetable Peeler: A handy tool for creating twists (see Garnishes, here), the peeler removes a thin layer of skin from fruit to add flavor and color.

TECHNIQUES

Making a Drink

Double-Straining: For some recipes, you’ll hold a mesh strainer over the mouth of the glass and “double-strain” the drink from the shaker through a strainer and then through the mesh. Makes for an ultra-clean pour.

Dry-Shaking: Same thing as Shaking (here), but without the addition of ice to the shaker.

Dumping: After shaking your ingredients, uncap the shaker and “dump” all that’s inside—including, generally, the ice—as opposed to straining through a filter. (The cocktail equivalent of turning in the first draft of a manuscript that hasn’t been edited.)

Filling: In some recipes, you’re asked to “fill” your glass to the top with a final ingredient—typically Champagne, soda, or cream. The amount of liquid needed depends on how large your glass is: from 2 to 4 ounces for a flute, to anywhere from 4 to 8 ounces for rocks, highball, or Collins glasses.

Muddling: In some recipes, once you’ve filled a glass with the specified fruits, juices, or herbs, use a muddler (here) to gently mash the ingredients, twisting lightly to release oils and flavors.

Rimming: Rub the lip of the desired glass with a lemon or lime wedge, then “rim” the glass by turning it upside down and placing the rim on a plate of salt, Tang powder, sugar, or whatever the recipe calls for. Then gently rotate the glass so the rim gets coated in the desired ingredient.

Shaking: Fill a Cobbler tin with all the ingredients and ice, close the cap, and shake vigorously until the liquid takes on a foamy quality. Take off the lid and strain (or Dump, see here) into a glass.

Stirring: Experts use a bar spoon, which has a long, twisting handle, but an everyday spoon will do just fine. For cocktails with carbonation, the bubbles do the stirring for you.

Decorating a Drink

Garnishes: These add both color and flavor (like a lime wedge or a lemon twist). Think of adverbs as the garnish of prose—especially when your editor makes you cut them. Ruthlessly.

Garnishing techniques include:

Grating: Not just for cheese! Gently rub the desired ingredient (lemon peel, ginger) against the fine edge of a grater.

Twists: Delicately flavor a drink and add a little citrus pizzazz. Our preferred method is to wash a lemon and then use a vegetable peeler to remove a 2-inch strip of rind. Fold in half, twist over the drink, wipe the rim of the glass with the twist, and then drop the twist into the glass.

Wedges: The most widely seen lemon or lime garnishes. Wash, dry, and cut the ends off the whole fruit. Then chop the fruit in half “the short way” and quarter the remaining halves. Wedges can either be squeezed and dropped into the drink, or balanced on the rim after cutting a notch into the fruit. Kind of like a bookmark for a drink.

Wheels: Circular discs of fruits or vegetables. Wash, dry, and cut the ends off the whole fruit, then slice crosswise into “wheels.” Can be placed in the drink, or balanced on the rim after cutting a notch into the fruit.

TERMS

Spirits

Gin: Distilled from grain and can be flavored with everything from juniper to cinnamon. Look for its star appearance in The Great Gatsby. But only after you’ve finished reading this book.

Rum: The best sugar-water money can buy. The lightest kinds are the youngest; the darkest can be older than seven years. Keep this away from Hemingway, thank you.

Tequila: Comes from the blue agave plant, not the cactus. The word “tequila” itself refers to a very specific region in Mexico, and the authentic stuff doesn’t harbor any wayward worms.

Vodka: Odorless and clear, vodka is typically distilled from potatoes and grains. Pairs best with Russian classics.

Whiskey: Distilled from grains and hailing from America, Canada, Ireland, or Scotland. An acquired taste, to some—but aren’t the best books, too?

Liqueurs and Aperitifs

Strong, syrupy spirits that are flavored any number of ways, from fruits to flowers; also includes schnapps. The following liqueurs make appearances throughout this book: bitter orange (brands like Campari and Aperol), blackcurrant (aka, crème de cassis), coffee (a brand like Kahlúa), crème de cacao (chocolate flavor), elderflower (a brand like St-Germain), ginger (a brand like Domaine de Canton), hazelnut (a brand like Frangelico), Irish coffee, orange (generics like triple sec; brands like Cointreau and Grand Marnier), ouzo and pastis (licorice flavor).

Beer

A malt brew and a hoppy flavor. Recipes in this book focus on ales, stouts, and pilsners. And, like the best genre-busting novels (yes, you, In Cold Blood), our beer cocktails go beyond the pint glass to mix flavors (and break rules).

Wine

Fermented juice from myriad fruits, especially grapes. In subcategories, we feature brandy, generally a distillation of wine or fruit juice; sweet vermouth, a fortified wine flavored with herbs; sherry, a brightly sweet fortified wine hailing from Spain; and Champagne, a sparkling white wine from a specific French region.

Other Flavorings

Activated Charcoal: Get thee to your local health food store. A highly absorbent powdered form of every dad’s favorite BBQ staple.

Aquafaba: An egg substitute most easily obtained by draining the liquid from canned chickpeas.

Bitters: The cologne of cocktails, added in small amounts to give a drink depth and nuance. Those featured in this book range from chocolate mole to baked apple to the more standard Angostura bitters.

Blue Pea Flower: Bright, beautiful, and straight-up Insta-worthy, find this one in the tea aisle.

Cinnamon Syrup: They pump it behind the counter at Starbucks, but ours is a cinch to make at home.

Clamato: