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Dog Diaries: Mission Impawsible
A Middle School Story
Contributors
By Steven Butler
Illustrated by Richard Watson
Formats and Prices
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$7.99Price
$9.99 CADFormat
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This item is a preorder. Your payment method will be charged immediately, and the product is expected to ship on or around March 30, 2020. This date is subject to change due to shipping delays beyond our control.
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It’s me, Junior, back again with another tail-wagging tale of mischief-making! I’ll tell you all about the fur-raising time I had when my pet humans went on a trip without me, and the horrible place they left me. Here are some of the adventures I had:
- How I survived on a diet of icky vegetables, with no yummy, drool-inducing meat in sight!
- My super-secret plan to steal delicious hamburgers!
- How my pooch pals and I cooked up a grand scheme to break free and get back home.
It’s a dangerous mission, but as I always say, you can’t keep a good dog down!
Excerpt
OH BOY! I knew it… I just knew it! Only yesterday I was telling my best pooch-pals, Odin and Diego, that I’d sniffed the hap-hap-HAPPIEST whiff of human on the breeze and now HERE YOU ARE! A HUMAN!
I can’t tell you how exciting it is to know you’re holding book three of my Dog Diaries in your five fingery digits, and we’re about to go on ANOTHER adventure together… and this one’s a humdinger!
A lot has happened since I wrote my last diary, and you won’t believe what’s been going on in the Catch-A-Doggy-Bone kennel lately.
But wait! What am I saying? I’m getting way too excited and scampering off ahead of myself.
What if we’ve never met before and you haven’t read any of my stories? That’s a terrible thought, but what if you HAVEN’T!?! Just think of all the fun and howl-tastic giggles you’ve missed out on.
Well, my person-pal, if that’s the case and you know nothing about all the amazing things I’ve been up to since I came to live with my best-best-BESTEST pet human, Ruff, there’s only one thing for it. I’ll fill you in with all the details quicker than you can shout “THERE’S A RACCOON IN THE BACKYARD! LET’S GET IT!” and you’ll be living a more poochified life in no time. I promise! And who wouldn’t want to live like us masterful mutts, huh?
Okay… where do I start? Ummm… oh yeah! In case we haven’t met before, my name is Junior. HELLO!
Junior Catch-A-Doggy-Bone, to be precise.
Only last year I came to stay with my new family and it has made me happier than a terrier with a tennis ball.
It’s true!! Just the thought of that TERRIFIC day when Mom-Lady collected me and brought me back here to make a fresh start at kennel life makes my tail go CRAZY. I’ve got the urge to perform a Happy Dance right now, but don’t worry, I won’t, or we’ll be here all day. Once I get started I can’t stop for ages, and there’s far too much catching up to do for me to be wasting time with yippin’ and yappin’ about.
First things first—you gotta meet my pet human. He’s the GREATEST! Just look at him! Have you ever seen a more wonderful face?
I swear, my furless friend, I’ve never loved anyone or anything more in my whole life. Yep! Ruff is the most slobber-licious human in the whole of Hills Village and beyond. He’s even better than my favorite stick!
We’ve already had some TREMENDOUS adventures together, shared some BARK-TASTIC feasts in the Food Room, and taught a few grizzly grown-ups and their pampered poodle-princesses that obedience and rules aren’t for everyone. OH BOY, have we had some fun doing it!
But, before I spend all day yowling and howling on about my family-pack, there’s something else I’m just DYING to tell you. It’s more exciting than the time I found a whole bag of Canine Crispy Crackers under a bench at the dog park and I don’t think I can keep it to myself for one more second, my furless friend.
Wanna hear? Ha ha! OF COURSE YOU DO!
All right, my person-pal. Brace yourself, because what I’m about to tell you will make you run around in circles, howling and drooling with joy.
DRUM ROLL, PLEASE!!!
Ruff and I… we’re… we’re…
AAAGH!! I can hardly get the words out!
Come on, Junior, you can do this!
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Phew… that’s better.
Okay, Junior. Tell the story properly and start at the beginning. Here goes…
It all started just last week… c’mon…
Last Tuesday
3:37 p.m.
So far, it had been a totally normal day, my person-pal.
Ruff and his little sister, Jawjaw, headed off for a day at school and I took Mom-Lady out for a walk on the end of my leash. She loves coming along with me on my usual jaunt to the dog park for a run-snuffle-bark-about with my best pooch-pals…
They’re the greatest pooch-pals a dog like me could ever ask for, but I’ll tell you more about those guys later, don’t you worry.
After we got back from an AMAZING morning in the park (Lola found a half-eaten hamburger in a trash can! IT WAS EPIC!), I’d set about doing my very important daily routine…
Sniffing for new smells in all the corners of the kennel…
Growling at the hallway closet door to warn my archest of enemies, THE VACUUM CLEANER, to stay in there…
Snoozing in the sun on the Picture Box Room rug…
Howling at the mailman. HE LOVES IT WHEN I DO THAT!
Barking at raccoons in the backyard…
So… by the time I’d finished my list of daily chores and the afternoon arrived, I was content and curled up on the comfy squishy thing, minding my own business and chewing on a particularly tasty sock from Jawjaw’s room…
Oh, wait… in case you haven’t met Ruff’s super-sneery little sister, Jawjaw, before. This is her…
Now, I’m not supposed to go in Jawjaw’s Sleep Room anymore. She’s been mega mad at me ever since I stole one of her creepy little plastic humans and… well… maybe cooked it a little bit—but it wasn’t my fault!
It felt awful being told I was a BA… BAD… BAD DO… Oh, you know what I’m trying to say. Those are terrible words to a mutt’s ears. HORRIBLE!
I knew I wasn’t supposed to be in Jawjaw’s Sleep Room, but I couldn’t help myself. You see, things from Jawjaw’s room taste SOOOOOO delicious. Mainly because I’m forbidden from eating them. It’s a real conundrum. The things you know you aren’t allowed to chew on are always the yummiest, and Jawjaw’s creepy little humans taste like dust and dirt and plastic. SCRUM-A-LUMPTIOUS, if you ask me!
But a little while ago, Ruff and I had to take obedience classes (YUCK! I HATE THOSE TWO WORDS ALMOST AS MUCH AS BAD DOOO… Agh! Forget it!) and I’m trying my best to keep us both out of trouble by being a perfect pooch. These days I have to make do with enjoying the occasional sock that I can sneak from Jawjaw’s laundry pile, right by her door… and enjoying it I was.
It was such a tasty snack that I almost completely failed to notice something terrific was about to happen… something completely wonderful!
RUFF WAS COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL!!
I swear it’s one of the best-best-BEST parts of the day, my furless friend. Nothing fills my houndy heart and makes me Happy-Dance like the moment my perfect pet human comes home from a long day at Hills Village Middle School.
There are very strict rules for the moment when a dog’s best friend gets home after classes, and you should definitely know what they are. I take poochy pride in sticking to these exactly…
Genre:
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Praise for Dog Diaries:An Amazon Best Book of the Month!A Barnes & Noble Top Book of the Month!
- "Junior is a dog of great enthusiasm [with an] endearingly canine first-dog voice. Watson's numerous cartoon illustrations... perfectly capture Junior's whimsical attitude...This series opener is a romp in the park."
--- Kirkus Reviews- "Bolstered by Watson's spry cartoons, Patterson and Butler's rollicking story will catch--and hold--the attention of young readers, especially those of the dog-loving variety."
--- Publisher's Weekly- "Patterson's tongue-in-cheek humor, accompanied by Butler's comic illustrations, makes this illustrated chapter book a lighthearted 'dog and his boy' story for dog-lovers and fans of Tom Watson's Stick Dog series."
--- Booklist- On Sale
- Mar 30, 2020
- Page Count
- 208 pages
- Publisher
- jimmy patterson
- ISBN-13
- 9780316494496
- "Junior is a dog of great enthusiasm [with an] endearingly canine first-dog voice. Watson's numerous cartoon illustrations... perfectly capture Junior's whimsical attitude...This series opener is a romp in the park."
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