The Happy and Heinous Halloween of Classroom 13

CHAPTER 2

Little Linda Riding Hood

When schoolteacher Ms. Linda LaCrosse woke up on the morning of Halloween, she was absolutely ecstatic. (That’s another word for super-duper happy.)

Halloween was one of her favorite holidays. She had been putting together her costume for weeks. First she got a picnic basket with a little plaid cloth inside. Then she got a little stuffed animal of a wolf. Finally, she got a red cloak. She was going to be Little Red Riding Hood.

For breakfast, she poached her bread in a pot of water and cooked her eggs in the toaster. Her toast was very soggy and her eggs were very dry.

It didn’t matter, though, she thought to herself. It was Halloween. She could eat candy instead of a good breakfast. (Which, if you ask me, is a foolish thing to think. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and no amount of candy can replace it. Me? I eat cake for breakfast every morning. Cake is a very sensible breakfast.)

After she put on her costume, Ms. Linda looked in the mirror. “Now, Little Red Riding Hood,” she said to herself, “I want you to go straight to Grandmother’s house. Don’t talk to any strangers in the forest. And watch out for wolves!”

Ms. Linda giggled. She skipped merrily all the way to school. When she arrived, she turned on the lights and dusted the shelves. She readied her books and hung the decorations. Finally, she noticed a strange bowl of candy in the center of the room.

“I wonder who put that there,” Ms. Linda said. “Probably one of my students. What a thoughtful thing to do. I should take a piece. It would be rude not to have at least one.”

Ms. Linda picked a piece of candy and tossed it into her mouth. It tasted like chocolate, Worcestershire sauce, and fresh-cut grass.

A moment later, Ms. Linda became very confused. Looking around the room, she asked herself, “Where am I? Where are the woods? And which is the way to Grandmama’s house?”

As some of the students walked into the classroom, they waved to their teacher. “Happy Halloween, Ms. Linda,” said Dev.

“Halloween? What’s Halloween? And who is Ms. Linda?” said Ms. Linda. “My name is Little Red Riding Hood.”

“It is?” Mason asked.

“No, it’s not,” Olivia said sternly. “Your name is Ms. Linda. You’re our teacher.”

“A teacher?” said Ms. Linda. “Oh, I think not. I don’t even go to school. I spend each day going back and forth to Grandmama’s house. I deliver her bread and fruit. You see, she’s very sick and too weak to travel herself.”

“Wow, our teacher is really in character,” said Liam.

“Who are all of you children? And why are you dressed so strangely?” Ms. Linda asked, hiding behind her desk. The students’ costumes terrified her. There was a ghost and a pirate and some kind of zombie. “Never mind who—or what—you are. If one of you would be oh so kind enough to point me in the right direction of the woods, I’ll be on my way.”

“Okay, this is super weird,” said Mark, “even for our class.”

Ms. Linda—still confused—really did think she was Little Red Riding Hood. She pulled the cloak over her head and hid under her desk from the children in their strange outfits.

Everyone was distracted by the odd start to their day, so they didn’t hear the 13th Classroom laughing at them. Its revenge had begun.

CHAPTER 3

The Hot Dog

Hugo Houde aimait les hot-dogs. Donc, pour Halloween, il décida de se déguiser en hot-dog. Quand il entra dans la classe, il prit un bonbon dans le bol, le mangea, et s’assit.

Quelques secondes plus tard, Hugo était transformé en véritable hot-dog.

CHAPTER 4

The Two-Headed Horse

Mason scratched his head as twins Mya & Madison walked into Classroom 13. “I don’t get it,” he said. “What’s your costume?”

“Duh,” said Mya. “We’re a horse.”

“One horse?” Mason asked.

“Obviously,” said Madison.

Mason scratched his head again. “I know I’m not the smartest kid in Classroom 13. But I don’t think horses have two heads.”

Mya & Madison took one look at each other and started yelling.

“You were supposed to be the butt!” Mya shouted.

“No, you were supposed to be the butt!” Madison shouted back.

You see, both girls had wanted to be a horse for Halloween. But a horse is a two-person costume. One person wears the head and the front two legs, and the second person wears the back two legs and the butt. But being the butt is hard work. You have to be bent over all day holding the other person’s waist. Plus, you can’t see anything back there.

Neither Mya nor Madison wanted to be the butt. Instead, both of them wore the front half of the costume. So they were a two-headed horse with four front legs and no back legs and no butt.

“You ruined Halloween!” Mya shouted at her twin.

“You ruined our costume!” Madison shouted back.

When the twins began screaming, Ms. Linda peeked out from under her desk. “Oh my!” she said. “Those girls remind me of the terrible wolf that lives in the forest. How frightful! I think I’ll stay under my desk until they’ve gone away.”

“Seriously, Ms. Linda?!” Olivia said. “Stop pretending and start acting like a teacher!”

“I don’t think she’s pretending,” said Preeya. “I think she thinks she really is Little Red Riding Hood.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Olivia snorted. “It’s not possible.”

“Are you sure?” Mason asked. “Look. Hugo turned into a hot dog.”

Hugo had turned into a hot dog. And Liam was about to take a bite. Mason slapped the hot dog out of Liam’s hands. “Don’t eat Hugo!”

Mason put the hot dog in his pocket for safekeeping.

Olivia rubbed her temples. “How did this happen?”