The Girls' Book of Love

Copyright

Compilation copyright © 2002 by Catherine Dee

Illustrations copyright © 2002 by Ali Douglass

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

First Edition

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com

First eBook Edition: September 2009

ISBN: 978-0-316-08464-2

Acknowledgments

This book seems to have magically materialized thanks to all the girls and women who provided love stories, poems, and quotes. Thanks to Elizabeth Carlassare and Sarah Dee for excellent feedback and to Jeanie Fraser for research help. Heaps of appreciation to Alana Webb of lovestories.com, Nancy Gruver of New Moon, and Rivka Solomon and Julia DeVillers, who publicized my call for material. The biggest thanks of all to Megan Tingley for making this series possible, along with my patient editor, Mary Gruetzke, and the team at Little, Brown: Kerri Goddard Kinch, Linda Magram, Alvina Ling, and Will Gordon. A big hug to my wonderful husband, Jonathan Ganz, whom I had the pleasure of marrying while working on this book. Finally, a toast to my incredible family: Mom, Dad, Vicky, Sarah, Ryan, Dick, Hal, Charley Mike, Jessie, Jeremy Jack, and Ben—the people I love most in the world.

Chapter 1

Crazy Little Thing

The word "love"—as in the romantic kind—brings to mind crazy crushes and sweet kisses, mushy valentines and cozy snuggling. But what exactly is love?

Some people think it's the experience of being instantly smitten with someone. Others believe it's a state of caring that develops between two people over the years. Some see it as a deeper shade of friendship, unconditional regard for another, or the willingness to protect the person from harm at all costs.

As you can see, trying to fit love into one handy definition is a challenge. That's okay, because in order to really understand it, you've got to experience it.

Cool Quotes

The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.

—PEARL BAILEY, ENTERTAINER, 1918–1990

Love is the one experience of the human condition that allows us to feel unequivocally, beautifully, and deeply that our true condition is not isolation but union.

—DAPHNE ROSE KINGMA, WRITER

Love is the most important thing in life. If you don't have [a relationship], you're always looking for one.

—SHERYL CROW, SINGER-SONGWRITER

Love is coming face to face with the knowledge that you've found the best friend you'll ever have in this world.

—LUCY MURRAY, ARTIST, WRITER

Love is the vital essence that pervades and permeates, from the center to the circumference, the graduating circles of all thought and action.

—ELIZABETH CADY STANTON, SUFFRAGIST,
WRITER, SOCIAL REFORMER, 1815–1902

Love, in my opinion, is not a fantasy, not the stuff of romance novels or fairy tales. It's as gritty and real as the subway, it comes around just as regularly, and as long as you can stick it out on the platform, you won't miss it.

—LOIS SMITH BRADY, WRITER

[Love] is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity

—HELEN HAYES, ACTOR, 1900–1993

Love is everything it's cracked up to be…. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.

—ERICA JONG, WRITER

Guy's-Eye View

What Is Love? I have met in the streets a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, the water passed through his shoes and the stars through his soul.

—VICTOR HUGO, WRITER, 1802–1885

True Story

Matchmaker Moms & Dads

When my parents met some friends at a party and found out that they had a son living near me, they practically turned cartwheels. The children's numbers were exchanged while we, the children, remained unaware that our parents had changed the course of our lives.

The first time he and I spoke on the phone, we talked for hours. He asked what long-term plans I had (not many). I asked how many pierces and tattoos he had ("What?!"). By the end of the conversation, I knew at the very least that I had made a friend. And friendship became love.

Now it's hard to imagine life without each other. We often wonder what would have happened if there had been no party where our parents could meet, no friendship between them. We have a favorite Hebrew saying, "B'shert"—Meant to be. Even if our parents had never met, even if our lives had taken different paths, I believe we were b'shert, and sooner or later, our paths would have crossed.

—JENNIFER BERNSTEIN-LEWIS, VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR

Chapter 2

All You Need Is Love

Romantic love is powerful. It's the driving force behind our very existence—each new generation owes itself to the couples who fall in love, marry, and start families. With its promises of erasing loneliness and making us feel cherished, true love is most everyone's deepest wish.

Lovestruck couples are full of energy which can lead them to accomplish great feats, either in the name of love or as a side effect. People in love also have the capacity to learn and do things together that they wouldn't do alone.

Love won't solve all your problems. If you don't have a life, love won't give you one. Short of that, never underestimate the power….

Cool Quotes

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.

—MAE WEST, ACTOR, 1893–1980

I don't want to live. I want to love first, and live incidentally.

—ZELDA FITZGERALD, WRITER, 1900–1948

Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.

—HARRIET LERNER, PSYCHOLOGIST, WRITER

The love of my true companion makes me rich beyond anything material a man could ever give to me.

—BARBARA DEANGELIS, WRITER, SPEAKER

Love—an inaccessible dream or a contingent reality—is undeniably as essential to us as the air we breathe.

—MONIQUE PIVOT, WRITER

Being in love and being loved keep you young.

—MADONNA, SINGER

Guy's-Eye View

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

—CARL JUNG, PSYCHOANALYST, 1875–1961

True Story

Sneaking Up on Love

It happened in Alexandria, a gorgeous Egyptian city on the sea with a divine blend of soothing water and penetrating sunsets. My cousin and I were walking along one night when I saw this guy in front of us who took my breath away, even though I was looking at his back. I had to catch a glimpse of his face, so I grabbed my cousin and walked toward him. When he turned around and looked at me, it felt like a thousand leeches were pressing against my heart, sucking out every drop of energy and sanity I possessed. His eyes were flecked with specks of yellow amidst a sea of glorious green. I just froze.

The attraction was mutual. In the coming days we spent long hours together, sitting and talking on a big boulder on the beach. In his arms, my heart and his seemed to beat as one, and I felt weightless and so right.

Although our time together was short, it's a treasure I'll hold in my heart forever. He was the beginning of something great, and through his eyes I saw the beauty of life.

—DINA CHEHATA, 16

Chapter 3

The Crush Rush

You know you've entered the world of love when you get a crush on someone. Twelve-year-old Catherine Vogt sums up what it feels like: "All I want is for him to feel the same way about me. I get butterflies in my stomach and my palms sweat. I try to look better to get his attention. I would talk to him, but the words won't come. I would give him my soul and my life."

Regardless of their outcomes, crushes make you feel alive. If they turn into real dating, something is lost. So savor all crushing, whether you're simply adoring the person of your dreams in your dreams or moving toward saying hi and discovering if the feeling is mutual.

Cool Quotes

The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular one and its indifference to substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.

—IRIS MURDOCH, WRITER, 1919–1999

Tiny little needles being pricked into your skin all over your body. What is this?… You are demonstrating classic symptoms of chrushus amorus.

—SARI LOCKER, ADVICE COLUMNIST

More than anything in this transitory life mine eyes desire the sight of you.

—C