Warner Books has asked me to add to your knowledge of personal and idiotic information concerning my likes and dislikes - a.k.a. - teen fanzine meets rock and roll's oldest left-wing slut. "Tell me, Grace, what colors do you like to wear when you are dressing for sex?" Answer: "Black and red," straightforward.
Give me anything Spanish - music, colors, men, flamenco, architecture, weather, language, Gypsy Kings, costumes, food, etc. Espania es tal como libertad.
I don't care one way or the other about computers, physics, psychobabble, [??]. Fashion, board games, auto maintenance, or brussel sprouts, but a bilingual Spanish man with a 2000 thousand dollar a year income, a flat stomach, and IQ of over 135, a good sense of humor and a home in Barcelona could get me to tell state secrets (if I knew any). Spiritual practices have not eradicated my Iberian attachments.
At the moment I am a non-practicing alcoholic and a practicing smoker. As a vegetarian who loathes exercise, I am a contradiction in health priorities. I have a small trampoline that I look at from time to time, but it never says anything very interesting.
The books I am currently reading are Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, anything by Robert Parker, The Concise History of Spain by Melveena McKendrick, and a platinum bound anthology of every issue of the Enquirer dating back to the year 1492.
I'm kind of warming up to this computer thing - it's a really great way of avoiding direct human contact. I mean, is some lonely spud out there really reading this shit? And when the whole thing goes berserk in the year 2000, is he going to have some kind of toxic withdrawal?
But I digress. Right now I figure I've got about 20 years left to enjoy a slowly deteriorating quality of life, but on a good day I just hang out and appreciate the concept of an immediate upgrade in my next incarnation - maybe a wolverine.
I am stubborn, opinionated, organized, artistic, lazy, amusing, a sucker for animals, foul-mouthed, sarcastic, passionate and soft-hearted.
I don't have any long-standing feuds with any of the people in my ex-bands. They may think I'm a dork, but I have nothing but the fondest and most specious memories of working with a string of talented and irrational musicians. And unlike most people, I like all of my lawyers.
My children, China, is just as socially challenged and universally confused as her mother and father Bruce. No, "children" is not a mistake; she is, in fact, several beings rolled into one. Like mom, she shuns liquor but smokes her brains out. Unlike Mom, she does a mean 1 2 hours of yoga a day. There, you see - progeny can be progress. She does not own a computer, but as soon as she gets one, you'll be the first to log-fucking-on at www.goon.com.
My first ex-husband, Jerry Slick, hasn't spoken to me for 30 years. He rightfully believes I am contagious. Paul Kantner, the father of my children China, speaks to me on a regular basis because he is intellectually and morbidly fascinated with people who choose to live in Los Angeles. Skip Johnson, my most recent ex-husband, may or may not have a new girlfriend. Whoever is answering the phone at his house is very bright, organized and unflappable. I like her already.
I have no secrets except my knees, which I keep covered at all times.
The one man I lusted after but never boinked is Peter O'Toole. I'm way too old for Antonio Banderas, but if I was 25, I'd have my vocal cords altered to a goo goo ga ga baby voice, bleach my hair and become the next Melanie Griffith.
What's my favorite joke? Power.
Do I have a lot of money? No. But I have enough to keep the car running while I listen to the end of a good spiritual tape - and that is its own paradox.
Would I suggest rock and roll as profession? Yes, and I might even suggest it as an art in certain positions.
Do I have any advice for the younger generation? No. People are determined to repeat history - even if they do read it. But don't take that personally - it's all just entertainment.
Now, rush out and buy that celebrity trash for cash book Somebody to Love? by yours truly - otherwise known as Grouser.
Did I forget anything?
Yes,my favorite illusions.
1. Ram Dass 2. Animals as gurus 3. Allegria's tiramisu 4. Sex and love as an inseparable unit 5. Vincent Marino (in that order)