Most people might think that when you are asked to write twin books on sex, one for him and one for her, all you have to do is change every ‘him’ for ‘her’ throughout the text so that one book effectively becomes two. An economy of words and good husbandry of text, a quick trip round the writing factory to conserve vocabulary and we have covered the territory and managed to be equitable in the process.
Except that sex, and men and women, aren’t like that. As joint authors we feel strongly that each gender has very different sexual needs and desires. If our twin books How to Make Great Love to a Man/Woman are going to possess any real meaning, this must be reflected in how they are written. Not a lot of point in banging on about love, romance and tenderness if all the male readers really want is to get on to the ‘hard stuff’. Not a lot of point in describing 101 ways in which to do sex standing up if the female readers wouldn’t dream of having sex without a few preliminaries first - preliminaries such as getting to know each other, learning to trust, falling in love.
It’s not that women can’t be just as rough and tough in bed as men – they frequently can. Lots of women love quickies. Lots of women adore the frenzy when you can’t wait to get your clothes off and you’re in so much of a hurry that you do it standing up against the living room wall or inside the office with the door locked or in the kitchen two minutes before the guests arrive. But they adore it because, in most cases, there is more to the relationship than just a ‘knee-trembler’. If the quick bang was the only expression of love and sex, they wouldn’t be quite so enthusiastic.
So our two books are deliberately written to be very different in approach. The female book focuses on the emotional approach to good sex because that is what most women appreciate. It looks at all the factors that feed into a woman’s mind so that she not only feels sexy, she is able to totally let go with all her passion. The male book tells women exactly what it is that a man prefers and this is often so different to her own desires that it really deserves to be spelled out. Men if you want to know how to sincerely please your partner, all the techniques are now available. Women if you desire to know how direct you can get, the information has just arrived.