Giving Grace Away

It had been twenty years since I walked away from a prolific writing career as a ghost writer and editor for my father, a New York Times bestselling author, to become a public school teacher.  I always new I would return someday.  When I completed my dissertation to earn my doctorate in educational administration and leadership I realized that the day had come. 

But what to write and how to get back into the game?  I knew immediately what my passion was—moms and the mommy guilt that they needlessly suffer from.  I wanted so to reach out and give them a pat on the back, an encouraging word.  I knew that much of mommy guilt is exacerbated if not caused by the multiple conflicting messages that moms hear.  Do it this way. No, do it that way.  This is a no win situation for moms. Even if there was agreement, no mom is able to do it to her expectations.

 In addition, mommy guilt is enhanced by the phenomenon that mothers always put their best foot forward—especially when it comes to being a mommy.  They fear what others would think if they could see what goes on behind closed doors. The problem is that because they never hear what’s really happening behind the closed doors of other mommies.  As a result they think they are the only one and hence feel horrible about it (when in fact, they are only human). 

 So, I knew that this book could not be a how-to book, or have advice in it, because then it would hurt more than it would help.  So, how to write a self-help book without how-to’s or advice?  I racked my brain and finally came up with a technique that I believe will really help.  I decided to tell stories of how I messed up as a mom, the subsequent mommy guilt I felt, and what I learned about grace through the process.  I decided that if I could invite moms into my home to see me at my worst (and that my sons still turned out better than OK), then maybe they will see that they are doing a better job than they think.

 I am so pleased with the final result!  I had a blast writing this book. So many stories of children—my own and those at the school—flowed out of my memory system. I wanted the book to be written in short chapters that a busy mom can read—if even only in the bathroom.  I also wanted it to have nuggets—the lessons in grace—highlighted in boxes to that moms could turn back at a glance on a bad day and grab some positive words to help get them through.  This project was a joy from beginning to end.   I can’t wait to get it into the hands of moms everywhere!