Article: There's no question that we...

There's no question that we live in an extremely challenging time to raise children. Each day, our kids are bombarded with advertising messages, marketing pitches and a popular culture whose message is blatantly clear — what you have is more important than who you are. Add to this ongoing fears about personal and national security, and it's no wonder that parents are deeply concerned about their children's future.

For six years, the organization I run, the Center for a New American Dream, has been working with parents to help them raise caring, responsible children in a highly commercialized culture. In connection with this work, I wrote a book called What Kids Really Want That Money Can't Buy. The book combines the heartfelt writing and artwork of children ages 5-17 with tips and resources for parents who are struggling to raise their kids with healthy values.

The voices of the children featured in the book are a lesson to all of us — they want more time with their parents, they want to protect nature, they want acceptance, and they want respect. The fact is that it's extremely difficult to be a kid these days. They're absolutely bombarded with advertising messages everywhere — on TV, on the Internet, and even in school. The result is that we're in danger of raising a new generation of hyperconsumers, who are constantly told that they can fulfill their non-material needs like love and respect by buying stuff.

The good news is that it's absolutely possible for parents to raise their kids in ways that align with their values. Here are three quick tips to get started.

First, I'd say set clear and fair limits on how much TV or computer time your kids have each day. Second, try to come together for a family meal at least a couple of times a week. Research shows that children who eat together with their parents do better in school, have fewer disciplinary problems, and are much, much happier. Finally, block out some unscheduled free time with your children — not a class or an organized sport — just time for you to be together. A walk in the park, a board game, anything that's fun and engaging, but which doesn't cause stress.

I know it's not always easy. Like many parents, I struggle to find balance between my work, which is very meaningful to me, and my family. I spend as much time as I possibly can with my kids. I work a four-day, 32-hour week. I do everything I can to spend as much time with my son, daughter and husband in non-commercial activities. It's not easy, but it's incredibly rewarding.

As parents, we sometimes have to ask ourselves what we want that money can't buy. Often we find ourselves working longer hours and spending more time commuting to work in a never-ending search for "more" — more money, more stuff, which causes more stress and less connection to the people that matter most. Often it requires really examining how we spend our time. Are we watching TV when we could be hanging out with our kids? Are we working overtime to pay for things we really don't need? This requires some very deep thinking, and I hope that this book helps to make some of those choices much, much easier.

Copyright © 2003 by Besty Taylor